Commentary

Facebook: Friend Or Potential Freak-Out?

by Kara Trivunovic , Op-Ed Contributor, February 4, 2010

I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone's intentions are as honest as mine when it comes to Facebook (or anything on the Web, for that matter). When it comes to marketers using Facebook as a vehicle for communicating with customers, we need to be smarter than my creepy middle school vice principal who found me on Facebook -- only to pursue a line of seriously inappropriate, personal questions. But this is the reality of the world we are trying to navigate.

As I take off my rose-colored glasses and filter through the Farmville news feeds, I have come to realize that it's often not a good idea to have professional contacts in your network of Facebook friends (especially those who choose to address posts about your personal life during large conference calls). In addition, sharing travel information isn't very smart. But I experienced something this weekend that actually took me by surprise (ok, it wasn't "shock and awe" surprise, but it definitely left me shaking my head).

I had a friend request waiting for me on Saturday from "Luis." His profile was only available to his friends, so I couldn't really go spelunking to find out who he was. I was sitting with my husband and said, "What do you think?" Serious conversation ensued - and we decided to let curiosity win out - accept the friend request, figure out who he was, then un-friend him. Here's what I found: he was an employee (I assume) of a resort I had taken my family to for a long-needed vacation... in October. Their strategy must have been to dig through old guest history and to then seek folks out on Facebook.

As I started looking through Luis' profile, there were a slew of photos of past guests that had been taken by the resort photographer -- weddings, pool shots, etc. I would venture to guess that there were some women in those photos that wouldn't want perfect strangers looking at them in a bikini by the pool -- or families that may not want their children's' photos posted for all to see.

What could the resort have done better? I am sure you are all abuzz with ideas - here are just three to get the conversation started:

Have a corporate presence on Facebook: It's great to have a persona (or a real person) that interacts with your audience in a social environment. But we need to remember that if we are just starting this marketing relationship out in the social web, we need to be forthcoming with the terms of that relationship and be transparent with the intention. My wonderful vacation memories are really diminished by the behavior that was exhibited by this resort, months after my stay. You may think it is a minimal offense, but it has left a very bad taste in my mouth, and I honestly may not go back.

Introduce customers to the persona: Look, I am sure Luis is terrific, but I don't know him from Adam and may not ever want to. If you are going to use personas in your social excursions, be sure there's some setup or introduction to that persona. Let the persona emerge from conversations happening on the Fan Page -- use a few to comment on the page or engage in conversation and see which reigns supreme.

Send an email! Yes, it is a novel idea, I know. But let's bring my experience full circle. Had this resort sent me a post-stay email (because they do have my email address as part of the transactional stream) inquiring about my stay, or just telling me thanks for coming, they could have introduced me to the unique value proposition of engaging with them on Facebook -- or at minimum, introduce me to "Luis."

7 comments about "Facebook: Friend Or Potential Freak-Out? ".

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P Vincent from comfycozy.com, February 4, 2010 at 2:52 p.m.
I recently created a Facebook page for my business, comfycozy.com. The intention was to create a place for customers to visit/comment/post pics etc. It would also allow me to dive into the "social media" craze and connect with customers in a new way. My goal was also to have a professional facebook persona. As much as my "friends" may like me, they don't want me advertising or talking about business every day, nor do I want my personal life to be available on "professional" pages. I wanted another facebook page to be able to "fan" trade pubs, businesses, etc.
I discovered that Facebook "RULES" do not allow you to have more than one page. While I don't know who is checking, your article does raise the question as to what persona you want to put forth on Facebook.
I know I don't want "luis" or any one else trying to be my friend for marketing purposes unless I agree to it, so I don't contact customers via my personal page, but the Comfy Cozy page.
Thanks!
Peggy Vincent
Reply

Jason Penta from Prospectiv, February 4, 2010 at 2:56 p.m.

Interesting post. At the very least, I would hope guests whose photos were taken should have had the opportunity to provide consent (or not) to use their photo in such a way. Putting photos on a corporate website is one thing, but using guest photos on FB without consent is something completely different. Great example of how not to use social media. I agree, send an email inviting you to connect on Facebook, don't just go through lists of guests and submit friend requests. Hey, it could be worse...at least Luis didn't "tag" you in any photos!

Peter Lucash from Digital CPE, February 4, 2010 at 3:06 p.m.

I'm not trying to take an "I told you so attitude" here, but let me offer up my personal rules:
1. Limit who can view your page, and be very, very careful of your profile pic.
2. Never, ever, friend any superiors, and only friend co-workers who are truly, truly personal, social (outside of work) friends.
3. Same for business associates outside of your company. You think your middle school principal was creepy? Employers are very, very creepy! They gather all kinds of data which has no relevance in evaluating a candidate or employee. HR folks love Facebook - the word "voyeur" comes to mind.

Oh - and please call the school district superintendent and report his behavior. He is doing the same thing to others, and may be preying on students as well.
4. As you learned, never, ever friend someone if you don't know who they are. "Luis's" stunt was akin to sales people who call, leave a message on your voice mail saying "Hi, Jane, this is Mike McCreepy. Call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx". They sound urgent on the phone- something important, right? If they are serious, they will add some background on who they are. Otherwise, ignore, block, call the police, whatever.

You are assuming that "Luis" is an employee - don't be so sure. He could be an accomplice, a fired employee, lots of things.

As for companies - they can invite you to their Facebook presence via email, snail mail, phone, when checking out. They should NEVER be contacting anyone on Facebook - Facebook is too personal. If any business contacted me that way, I would not be pleasant.

My three cents.

Very good article, BTW - I am forwarding it to some colleagues.

Paula Lynn from Who Else Unlimited, February 4, 2010 at 3:16 p.m.

In addition to Peter's advise :1. You need to contact that resort and let them know, make a complaint with the BBB and whatever other organization that resort has relations and make sure Luis is becomes a resort worker pariah; 2. Invasion of privacy - how does those laws come into play in these cases if at all and should resorts, etc., take some responsibility for the actions of their employees who ransacks the resorts records for personal use? Unless you use FB in a professional, reserved manner, fill your life with more important things.

Donna Lehman from MarketUP, LLC, February 4, 2010 at 3:21 p.m.

You raise some very good points about the behavior of both individuals and companies in the social media space. I'm sure everyone has their own set of rules for accepting 'Friend' invitations, based in part on how - um - 'sociable' they are. I'm not sure I agree that you can't mix some business contacts, friends and family; however, I acknowledge it can be tricky. So are "IRL" relationships and communication.

Your warnings are well presented. Agree that businesses, or someone pursuing new business, via a Friend request on FB should follow ethical practices (like, not tricking someone into thinking they are a personal friend).

An interesting example of a "Persona" on FB is the fictional character of Richard Castle from the TV show of that name. "He" interacts with individuals just like a real person, which I'm sure he or she IS - real. Just not really Castle. The Persona Castle is so friendly, it makes you forget that it's all an act. Good PR for ABC.

So, while using common sense caution is a good idea - I think the opposite extreme is to assume everyone we don't already know is a stalker. If you never reach out to new people, then I'm not sure what the point of networking really is. Would be nice if everyone was just that...nice. And treated each other online as respectfully as they would (should?) offline.

Thanks for posting this.

Kara Trivunovic from Epsilon, February 4, 2010 at 5:59 p.m.

Thanks to everyone for all the terrific feedback - I know that so many people are experiencing the very same challenges and I just have to wonder what people are thinking sometimes.

Peter - I am a big fan of the "I told you so" attitude - it's a fan favorite at my house! But even more I love your personal rules - #3 is the big winner in my book.

I haven't called the school - that weirdo was ousted from the education community more than twenty years ago - and good riddance! I don't know where he is and I don't wanna. But I do plan to convey my opinion to the hotel company/resort - because if they support, condone or encourage the behavior, I may never visit another one of their properties again.

Thanks again everyone. Keep the feedback, stories and personal rules coming!

Ellie Becker from E.R. Becker Company, Inc., February 4, 2010 at 8:26 p.m.

The three most important concepts of email marketing:

Opt in. Opt in. Opt in. This should extend to all areas of social media where community members -- read customers -- are incorporated into marketing activities.

As the learning curve moves forward, hopefully this will become one of the unbreakable rules of what we do online. It's tempting with the immediacy of online interactions to just grab what we need, but it's also a reality that those we could potentially exploit are the same ones who need to trust us if we are to succeed.