• by Chad Little , March 9, 2010

It happens to all of us. It's not uncommon for you to spend 30 minutes on the phone with a customer service representative due to an issue (30 minutes you will never get back, I should add), and, typically, you will end the call with some sort of resolution in place. One would think that you would be happy, right?

What if, in this instance, rather than feeling satisfaction, your hands are still clinched and you're mumbling under your breath like a mental patient from frustration. In the past, you've called customer service and it didn't end with a desire to kick the family dog; so why was this call so different? Could it be the mood you're in at the time? Possibly -- but most likely your feelings are connected to something deeper.

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is a term that refers to utilizing self-awareness to better communicate with and influence others during conversation. It also helps us to better explain why customers can end some calls and feel satisfied, while other times they end calls and feel infuriated. When it comes to communicating with customers, it's imperative that they feel their voices are truly heard and understood.

So how does one harness the power of NLP and leverage it to ensure customer satisfaction? Here are a few easy ways to get started:

• Mirror: You're on a call with customer service, and the agent you are speaking with says, "I will work to solve your problem Mr. Customer," and then proceeds to ask standard questions about your situation. She communicates to you in an even tone and very matter-of-factly. The customer service agent has clearly expressed her desire to help, but no rapport has been established. A better way to handle that conversation would have been to mirror your intensity, tone and body language. "Geez, Mr. Customer -- that sounds horrible! You must really be upset having to spend time on the phone and away from important things to deal with this!" By mirroring the other person's emotional state, the agent immediately put herself on the same side of the table as the customer.

• Paraphrase: Once a customer has voiced an issue or problem, it's important to paraphrase the situation. "So let me understand this -- you're saying that you've been waiting three days for your bags to arrive and yet no one has called you back to help you locate them. Is that correct?" (pause to listen) "Oh, and Agent Mudder told you that they would be arriving yesterday?" (pause again) "Okay -- I got it -- let me get some answers for you." By paraphrasing, you ensure that you really understand the issue at hand, and you also gain further rapport. Many times it's not the "bags" themselves that's the real issue. It's the fact that nobody gives a damn about the situation.

• Lead by example: If you expect your customer service agents to communicate effectively using these tools, senior managers should lead the way. Ask those on the front-lines to set the tone for the right culture and you're more likely to have individuals that will follow their example and become a true asset to your customer base.

NLP and transactional management techniques go way beyond just these few points I have outlined, and they also go way beyond customer service management issues. These are techniques and tools to be used in everyday communication as leaders, spouses, parents, friends, etc. They place focus on connecting with others and solving problems, and not on making an already emotional situation even worse.