Commentary
Simple Rule: Don't Friend Bosses
- by Erik Sass , Staff Writer @eriksass1, March 10, 2010
It's natural to befriend bosses and coworkers, or at least be on friendly terms with them, since you spend so much time around them. But work friendships have their own set of rules, enforced by normative corporate culture that has evolved over decades of office cohabitation. And the advent of social networks has introduced a whole new dimension, which seems to be confusing a lot of people.
At least, that's the impression I get from a new survey of 1,200 American social media users by Liberty Mutual and the "Responsibility Project." On one hand, a substantial number of people are becoming online "friends" with their bosses; on the other hand, the survey conducted in January found a majority (56%) think it's irresponsible or inappropriate to be friends with your boss, versus just 24% who think it's inappropriate to be friends with a peer-level work colleague. More generally, 62% believe it's irresponsible to be friends with an employee who isn't at your professional level.
Obviously there are some nuances here: There's a big difference, for example, between your boss asking to be friends with you versus the other way around, as many employees might feel some implicit professional pressure, whereas a boss would presumably feel more at liberty to ignore the request. On this subject, the same survey found 35% of social media users believe it's acceptable for someone to "friend" their supervisor, compared to 30% who believe it's acceptable for some to "friend" their supervisee.
I can only imagine different workplaces probably have different standards as well. Thus a goofy, anti-authoritarian Internet startup (you know, with scooters and dogs and ice cream) is probably more relaxed about cross-hierarchy network connections than, say, a button-down corporate law firm, where every social profile comes with a 15-page liability disclaimer.
One interesting gender-related finding: men are more likely to "friend" a boss or co-worker than women (40% versus 29%).
Erik Sass is editor of Publishers Daily. You can reach Erik at eriksass@gmail.com.
I was just talking to an associate of mine about an instance in which a boss found out through a social networking site that an employee's "sick day" was really a day surfing in the California sun.
People are too stupid when it comes to social networking. Understand what they are for. Use them accordingly.
LinkIn with your boss. BeFriend your friends and (possible) co-workers. Those pics your friend took of you smoking a joint at the Dave Matthews concert isn't something you want your boss to see, even if he was there too.
But this is something completely avoidable with a little self control: Saturday 9th November 2002
A judge in the US has admitted smoking marijuana at a Rolling Stones concert.
District Judge Thomas Gilbert has taken indefinite voluntary leave from his duties after he was spotted smoking the joint at a Rolling Stones concert at Ford Field in Detroit.
According to the Traverse City Record Eagle Mr Gilbert admitted the drug use to Chief District Judge Michael Haley and District Judge Thomas J Phillips.
District Judge told the paper: "He's full of shame and regret and it's just a very sad day for the district court."
Judge Haley said he interviewed a woman last week who said she saw Mr Gilbert twice take a drag from a marijuana cigarette as it was passed along a row of people at the concert.
Try honesty and integrity in all your interactions with people. Social networking sites record your EVERY action. If you wouldn't want to see it on the front page of the Wall Street Journal, don't put it out there--on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or your personal blog. It doesn't matter where it is; it's public record. One of the key principles of social networking is authenticity. So be authentic...all the time....don't pretend to be something at work if you are not that way in your private life.
I think the headline concept of "Simple Rule: Don't Friend Bosses" is a bit naive, particularly in this Job 3.0 economy.
For one thing the odds are good that that's how you *met* your boss, and that your social networking chops are one of the things that got you your job. I dare you to *defriend* your boss!
And for another thing all your networks are becoming increasingly intertwined; it doesn't really matter whether your boss is your "friend" or not. Your personal "sensitive" information is already in a conversation with your buttoned-downed professional profile.
Nope, the truth of the matter is that you do not have separate professional and personal lives. Privacy has been an illusion for decades, and the illusion is looking very quaint.
Your ability to leverage your personal/professional network has become one of the things that makes you valuable in the marketplace. Now all you have to do is live your life like you're in a Reality TV show.
Going Old School on this one: "The Medium is the Message". In the eyes of a manager, a dense matrix of connections on LinkedIn makes me look good. An active social life with a running commentary on Facebook makes me look like I may lack the professional intensity necessary to succeed today.
Oh, and am I a cranky old man if I've had enough with the "X-Point-Oh" at the end of everything? I think I'll go blog about it during business hours.
What do people think when they friend their bosses?