• by John Gaffney , December 1, 2002

Jesus, You Could Drive My Car: The Evangelical Environmental Network, which is behind the “Would Jesus Drive an SUV?” campaign, has its heart in the right place. Take a look under this misguided effort and terrible ad campaign, and you’ll see its core mission is to oppose “pollution and environmental degradation and the harm they cause to people and the rest of creation.” I’m all for that. Here’s what I have a big problem with: Jesus is not on anybody’s payroll, nor is he on any non-profit advisory board. As far as I’m concerned, no deity ever should be with the possible exception of Jack Welch. Despite all claims to the contrary, Allah is not on the Al-Queda payroll. I know that because his assets have not been frozen by the U.S. Government. “Would Jesus drive an SUV?” totally misses the point and the point is a good one to argue. A suburban mother of two doesn’t need a tank that uses a greedy amount of gas to get around town. But she certainly has every right to do so. The point is not about heavenly sponsorship when it comes to any earthly cause. It’s about educating consumers to the worthiness of your cause and we all know there’s more than enough media outlets to do that. Introducing religious figures takes the focus off the product. Get yourself on Hardball, Connie Chung and Bill O’Reilly and go for it. Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah.

Talkin’ Turkey:The Thanksgiving Day parade is a perfect vehicle for TV promotion. I think the networks should find a way to do it in late summer so they could hype the coming season. Just float your big balloons for kid shows, and have ostentatious floats carry the stars from the dramas and sitcoms. Can’t you just see the float for CSI?

Parting Shot: If the media is going to make heroes out of people who lose weight (like cover of People Magazine, 20/20 profile) I think we should reserve that for people who have an inspiring story of hard work and overcoming the odds. Al Roker (no disrespect intended) had a risky and expensive operation. His story should not be held up as inspiration to a mass market that can’t afford or might not need such surgery.