• by Vincent Vassolo , September 1, 2011

The precise meaning of Positive Aging is impossible to pin down because there are as many different definitions as there are people. Although it's true that research can provide valuable insights into the meaning of the concept, current findings can't be synthesized into a meaningful whole that truly gets to the heart of the matter.

The reason is that, ultimately, the most important definition is the one that each individual believes on a gut level. That definition, no matter how simple or complex, no matter how factually accurate or inaccurate, will form the foundation for the belief system that will be the guiding light for each individual's aging process. If that belief system holistically facilitates the physical, psychosocial and spiritual well-being of the individual, then it is the essence of Positive Aging, at least for that particular person.

Why Positive Aging And Ageism Are Poles Apart
If you're white, you'll never be black. If you're male, you'll never be female. But no matter what your age, with luck, some day you'll be old. That's why ageism is the most self-destructive form of prejudice.

This isn't to imply that other forms of prejudice aren't destructive; it's simply the recognition that ageism is unique because it has the potential to victimize every living person. The undeniable fact that each person must grow old is what makes ageism the most self-hating form of prejudice possible. Ageism is diametrically opposed to Positive Aging, because it's impossible to live constructively while courting what is essentially self-loathing. If you hate aging, on some level you hate your own life. That's a fact.

Fear and ignorance form the foundation of all prejudice, and ageism is no exception, because people who indulge in ageism project their fears of aging on older adults. They're afraid of growing old, because it seems to be filled with land mines. Positive Agers understand that although they will certainly face countless challenges, the life skills they've developed give them the ability to live a fulfilling life under any circumstances. Because they've developed the resources to cope, they have the courage to live life to the fullest. To them, age becomes just another number that they seldom even think about.

So if you want to understand Baby Boomers, you must take an honest look at yourself and root out ageism in all its manifestations. Unlike other things you fear, you can't segregate yourself from aging. You have to deal with it, because it will most certainly deal with you.

The Boomers have lived through the volatile, turbulent '60s, when the struggle for racial equality was at its most passionate. They know the destructive power of prejudice, and they're showing signs that they simply won't tolerate ageism. In fact, the next Civil Rights movement may well address ageism in all its forms, and Boomers will lead the way, because they are, after all, revolutionaries at heart.

How Do You Define Positive Aging?
The way you define Positive Aging becomes crucial as you grow older, because if you don't think for yourself, you'll end up accepting stereotypes that will erode your sense of well-being. To begin to define Positive Aging for yourself, you must clearly identify and then stay in touch with how you feel about various aspects of aging. The ageism exercise in the last chapter can help with that.

Here's another exercise that will help you come to terms with the way you think about aging. It will also help you redefine and refine the way you age. Start by making a written list of five negative beliefs you have about aging and five positive ones. How realistic are those beliefs? Which have the greatest influence on the quality of your life and the way you act? Which strengthen your sense of well-being? Which diminish it? Do your beliefs indicate that you buy into cultural stereotypes about aging, or do you clearly think things through for yourself? Do you feel your beliefs are set in stone, or can they be modified?

Finally, pick the single most significant negative belief that you have about aging, and ask yourself how you can overcome it. Then pick the single most positive -- and accurate -- belief, and ask yourself how you can use it as a building block for growth. This is the trailhead of the path toward Positive Aging.

Next time we'll explore why Positive Aging is crucial when trying to reach Baby Boomers.