Apple: Why did you break my iPhone?

I understand that the Apple iPhone is the single greatest invention of all time, and no, I’m not exaggerating.

Sure, there is the debate that medical equipment is more amazing since it saves lives and all, but think about this: the iPhone can send messages of text from one user to another AND let my fingers become tools of destruction while using birds that are furious at green pigs.

Why then am I writing that I’m mad about it? Because WHO PUTS A GLASS BACK ON A PHONE?!

I am so animated about this issue because whilst walking to the gas station one day, I dropped my iPhone 4 and THIS happened:


Now, I’m not an unreasonable man. I understand that I could have had on a case that might have prevented the cracked back and that I’m lucky that it broke the back and not the front, but I left the case off for a reason: There is nothing as sexy as the careless iPhone.



The helpless feeling I had as I watched my iPhone tumble to the ground was not unlike a museum curator watching a priceless Fabergé egg fall off of its supposedly secure pillar.

It was horrible.

Now I didn’t cry or throw my phone down in anger. I picked up the iPhone and put it into my pocket. I walked home and sat down sullenly, staring at the shattered back.

I looked into purchasing a new glass back, a hefty cost for a graduate student. I went to an online store that sells wooden backs, and unless I was making approximately one million dollars a year, that too was out of my price range. My last option was a metal or plastic back that they sell online through or their own shady looking store. After seeing plenty of negative reviews, I resigned myself to the least expensive option:a plastic case that covers the sexy right up.
My sexy phone was gone, and in it’s place, a cracked and shattered one. I went and got a case to cover the cracks, but there was nothing to cover my disappointment over losing such an elegantly designed phone.

Sure, I could take responsibility for my actions, but it’s 2011! I thought we stopped taking responsibility and started blaming everyone else for our mistakes when the “Supersize Me” guy was surprised he got fat eating only McDonald’s and not working out!

I will not be turning in my iPhone for another model and am likely a user for life, but the next time I purchase the iPhone (likely model 5 or 6) I will be putting a case on it right away, you know, because they still haven’t created an indestructible glass… Until then, plastic case it is.

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