• by John Gaffney , February 13, 2003

The King Is Gone But Not Forgotten: Wednesday night millions of people tuned into Fox for what its promotions hinted was the night when Big Joe would drop his decision and his big lie. Reminded me of a scene I saw from a documentary about the Sex Pistols. Someday this scene will go down as a very big media in the history of pop culture. Back in the early 80s The Sex Pistols, the primeval punk band who drove very far and fast on three chords and a lot of attitude, were playing their last gig. It was awful. Lead Singer Johnny Rotten sat down on the drum stage. Not singing. Same three chords blasting away. Not much communication between drum, bass and guitar. Terrible. When the song was over Rotten said: “Do you ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated.” Inherent in his statement was, “maybe this band has cheated you for a long time now.” Well, the consumers that watched Joe Millionaire last night, and were howling over the no decision that Joe didn’t make, welcome to the punk rock of TV. It’s reality TV and it’s an illusion. Fox proved last night that people will sit and watch anything, even on the thin promise that the show will come to its deceptive conclusion. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Hysteria: I do not have enough water in the house, or baked beans to last three days in case of biological or chemical warfare. I was about to ask my wife to take care of that recently, spurred on by such reliable sources as NPR. But I felt like I was overreacting. The New York Post said Thursday that there’s a cyanide scare at New York hospitals. You can’t get a car close to Grand Central Station. So when I read that the media may be creating hysteria over terror threats, I say this to myself: Poland Spring comes in three-gallon containers.

Parting Shot: My new favorite TV channel (DirecTV) is the NASA channel. Real space, real tragedy and brought to you without commercial interruption.