• by September 27, 2004

GOT MILK? NAH, JUST A PIECE OF PETER GARDINER - We've thought of some fairly odd things during our years in the media business, but never did we imagine taking a slice out of Peter Gardiner, much less having a bite. As it turns out, Gardiner was quite delicious. But then, we like chocolate. Okay, so we weren't actually munching on the Deutsch media maestro, or even the one he plays on TV. We were sinking our teeth into a decadently prepared cake that just happened to have Gardiner's image emblazoned on it. Well, it wasn't exactly Gardiner's image, at least not a contemporary one. This one looked to be of a pre-Donny snapshot of Gardiner, say circa 1970s. That was our guess based on his attire (a high school prom style ruffled tuxedo shirt) and his hairstyle (shag). But it was unmistakably a photo of Gardiner. And it wasn't just the fact that this lad had the same rugged good looks as the contemporary Gardiner - nor the same laid back, media neutral gaze in his eyes. It was the ink-jetted icing caption that ran along side his mug - "Peter Gardiner, partner & chief media officer, Deutsch Inc." - that really gave it away.

But then the trade promotion minds at Comcast Spotlight who sent the cake have never been known for their understatement. Why else would they have plastered high-traffic areas of Media Town with youthful images of Gardiner and other media buying heavyweights? Certainly not to remind us about the ravages of age. It was to get us to read their cleverly crafted ad copy: "You've changed in the last 25 years. So has spot cable." Okay, so it's not Deutsch quality material. But it is pretty good. And it got our attention the first time we saw it in trade pubs. And it definitely got our attention when we tasted it in trade fudge. The only question we have is whether Comcast got the attention it was looking for in terms of a slice of the advertising pie. Or as the case may be, cake. And did they get to eat it too?

Meanwhile, Comcast's delectable trade promotion has our stomachs growling with anticipation for the next baked good vying for Madison Avenue's attention, and appetites. Will it be Madelines from Hachette, strudel from Bertelsmann, popovers from Claria, tortes from Court TV, Animal Crackers from Discovery Networks or cookies from DoubleClick?

'DO WE REALLY NEED P&G TO COME OUT AND TELL US TO DO SOMETHING?' - Normally, when someone asks us that question, we give a relatively neutral response: "It depends." But when Val DiFebo raised it last week, we dared not come across nearly so dispassionate. Besides, we didn't have much of a chance to contemplate a reply much less issue one, before DiFebo answered her own question rhetorically for us: "I guess we do." DiFebo, managing partner and general manager of Deutsch New York, wasn't worked up so much about P&G as she was about the alpha marketer's recent mandate to rid the ad world of media bias. But what DiFebo really wanted, was to give us a vocabulary lesson. Noting that the word "neutrality" means "indifferent, not electrically charged," a highly charged DiFebo charged that the term "media neutrality" should be discharged from media industry parlance.

"Is that the right word," she asked, adding, "The first thing I'd like to shoot down is the idea of media neutrality." Neuter neutrality? What sacrilege is this? Normally, we'd chalk DiFebo's comments up to just so much heresy, but she had just been introduced as a "master of media neutrality," and by no more a credible authority than Advertising Research Foundation chief Bob Barocci. So we listened carefully.

"Neutral doesn't work for me," continued DiFebo, suggesting that in its place, the ad industry should begin using terms like "objectivity," or "open-mindedness," things that DiFebo said should be inherent to good practices in media planning or advertising creation. "Does that sound like new news to anyone here," she challenged, scanning a room of high-falutin research minds who were gathered by the ARF to explore methods for making cross-media comparisons.

"What was media neutral in the past? Was that below the line? Was it guerrilla marketing?," she asked, citing the most neutral media strategy of all: "People were advertising on pizza boxes before."