• by Wayne Friedman , Staff Writer, December 13, 2004

Now even ancient 1000 B.C. warriors and artists are included in the FCC's current moral crusade.

The FCC is looking into a complaint about some suggestive video during NBC's Summer Olympics in Athens. No, it doesn't concern naked runners or swimmers doing exotic victory laps.

The video in question was about the opening ceremony that featured a man and two women - one pregnant - performing an interpretative dance, as well as some video of statues of naked men. Maybe these were friends of Alexander the Great.

No matter. The FCC has requested video from NBC because of an indecency complaint.

The obvious question is, when will this all end?

If something doesn't happen soon, the FCC will be overrun with the flimsiest requests from any American with the slightest concern over their decency values. For me, I'd take off religious programming, Saturday morning cartoons, PBS programs, and billiards' shows. All those shows are 'indecent' to me. I'm offended by their values, and can make a strong case against them.

Happy now?

More fascinating is that even the two biggest TV pressure groups - the Parents Television Council and the American Family Association - aren't even taking immediate credit for this. Perhaps even they think the FCC is going too far.

Radio lightning rod Howard Stern, among others, has noted many of these complaints come from one or two actual e-mail messages which in turn are cut and pasted by thousands and sent to the FCC, TV networks, and advertisers. Now the FCC is seemingly on a mission to investigate every single complaint - no matter how small, weird, or obscure.

As long as the FCC is broadening indecency issues for all Americans, I say why stop with just the private parts of some long-dead Greek fighters? I vote off all sitcoms with studio audiences, possible laugh tracks, and really poor dialogue. That's indecent to any real comedians.

Oh, wait. I can alleviate my sitcom indignation by just changing the channel to the dead remains on a "CSI" show.

I'll give it a shot.