• by John Gaffney , June 20, 2002

‘No, Captain. It’s Worse Than That.’ Ted Goes Off, Part II: An observant reader pointed out to me this week that Ted Turner’s “Israel is a terrorist” quote in the UK’s The Guardian daily actually went to a higher level of political incorrectness. Keep in mind that the Pritchard referred to, is Ted’s AOL-assigned assistant whose job it is to rein in Ted. Here’s the complete graph: "But right now, aren't the Israelis and the Palestinians both terrorizing each other?" he says, as Pritchard starts scribbling furiously on his notepad. "It looks to me like they're both doing it. When the Brits retaliated for the Germans, for the, awwww, Krauts... for the Nazis bombing London by bombing Berlin, weren't you both terrorizing each other?

Does Iams Pay For The Cleanup?: A company called Planit is participating in Pet Sitters International's (PSI) 4th Annual Take Your Dog to Work Day this Friday, June 21. In conjunction with PSI, an educational organization for professional pet sitters, and The Iams Company, the exclusive event sponsor, Planit will host an all day session of activities including a doggie-owner look-a-like contest, dog Olympics, stupid dog tricks, and yappy hour.

Duuude. They Didn’t Haaave Rolling Stone In The ‘50’s: New Rolling Stone editor Ed Needham told the LA Times this week that his version of the mag will have much shorter editorial pieces: "I say 'I'll get back to it' but I never do because there just aren't big enough holes in my day for readin' long stuff," he said. "I don't know what it was like in the '50’s, but clearly there weren't so many things demanding attention from people."

No, Really. She’ll Write It Herself: Pamela Anderson will be writing a column for Jane starting in September. Anderson is expected to cover serious issues in her articles, including motherhood, women's health and domestic violence.

Hey, Do You Think We Can Get Smith and Wesson To Buy The Opposite Page?: Joey Buttafucco’s old flame and convicted gun moll Amy Fisher has written her first column for Long Island freesheet The New Island Ear. Potential employers thought she was "rich and applying for the job as a publicity stunt," she said. "They didn't understand I was destitute." But Robbie Woliver, editor in chief of the free, 40,000-circulation paper, gave her a chance and discovered "she's a natural writer. We were very surprised. We got a very witty, very insightful story from her."

So This Is What They Mean By ‘Damn With Faint Praise’: Nine major radio companies including Clear Channel are pooling their concerns about the Portable People Meter’s incomplete testing and potential inaccuracies. Now Arbitron responds that it welcomes its customers' increased interest and involvement in PPM development. "It's great to have individuals at such a high level taking an active part in the evaluation of the PPM," Arbitron President/U.S. Media Owen Charlebois says.