• by March 16, 2005

'HOW TO WRITE A SPEECH,' BY SUSAN WHITING, CEO, NIELSEN MEDIA RESEARCH - Select a powerful, attention-grabbing topic that no one can afford to miss:

"The Challenge of Change."

Soften the crowd by invoking a nostalgic image that any forty- to fiftysomething media researcher will immediately relate to:

The Charles Schultz characters in "Peanuts."

Provide a personal anecdote that will humanize you to a potentially hostile audience:

"My favorite CEO [is Peanuts'] Lucy."

Tell a joke about a conversation Lucy is having with another Peanuts character - Linus - that sets a humorous and self-reflecting tone for the rest of the agenda:

"Lucy asks: 'Do you think anybody ever really changes?'

Linus innocently replies: 'I've changed a lot in the past year.'

And Lucy drops the hammer: 'I mean for the better.'"

Reconnect with the audience and provide a well-placed moral:

"Schultz is not so subtly reminding us that all change is not growth; all movement is not forward."

Pander to the press:

Cite coverage in a leading TV trade (Multichannel News) and a couple of ad trades (Advertising Age and Adweek). Definitely steer clear of MediaPost, and for obvious reasons, especially The Riff.

Get into the meat of the discussion by summarizing the issues at hand in three dimensions:

First:  The changes Nielsen makes via the measurement itself.  That's fairly straightforward.

 Second:  The process for managing those changes - how much brake or how much gas to apply to the process.  That requires a considerable degree of research and political sophistication.

Third:  How all this affects different clients, competing clients, differently.  And that is certainly a "Challenge."

Divide and conquer by pointing out the contradictory interests of attendees - mainly Madison Avenue vs. TV sellers - by citing their reactions to Nielsen's decision to delay DVR ratings:

Agencies were angry. The networks were ecstatic.

Take the upper hand by throwing the problem back at your clients:

"More than parochial interests are at stake here& This includes your willingness to get involved more directly with Nielsen, in working more cooperatively to help us prioritize research directions, make certain that fairness is achieved, and that those who try to game the system will be rebuked."

Regain their trust by point out how "we're" all in this together:

"We are going to do better - all of us -- because all of us have a stake in making certain that the research estimates are as good as they can be."

Remind the audience of recent strides, and how you're digging into your own pockets to appease them:

"We are creating a separate $2.5 million R&D fund that Nielsen will manage in cooperation with the industry."

Get them to vie for a place in your heart, as well as your pocketbook:

"We will ask a small group of clients, representing different industry segments, to serve with us on a steering committee that will direct the spending over the course of a year."

Tell them you are playing fair and by the rules:

"We are fully committed to the MRC process."

Let them know you are reaching out:

"We are creating an Advertiser Advisory Council, which will be composed of representatives from the top advertisers in the major service categories."

And taking imminent action:

"We are committing to our clients that we will get back to you with a plan for VOD measurement in less than 90 days."

Bullet all the steps toward improvement in excruciating detail so that even the most research-minded researcher begins to lull into narcolepsy, citing:

National respondent level data, national sample expansion, sample quality, A/P meters, local market quality, set-meter markets, diary markets, portable people meters, extended home measurement, etc., etc., etc.

Sum up on a collegial note:

"When our clients succeed and thrive, we can be successful.  Working together, we will grow, adapt and innovate.  I look forward to the challenge."

Hope that they see you as warm and cuddly as a "Peanuts" character.

Distribute a transcript to the press.