• by John Gaffney , August 29, 2002

Other People’s Riffs: The Geopolitical Edition

What’s The Big Deal? It Worked For Led Zeppelin: The Indian division of Cadbury-Schweppes, a venerable confectionery company, has incensed large swathes of Hindu society by running a newspaper advertisement comparing its Temptations chocolate to the war-torn region of Kashmir. The ad carries the tagline: “I'm good. I'm tempting. I'm too good to share. What am I? Cadbury's Temptations or Kashmir?” To make sure nobody misses the point, the ad's creators laid the “too good to share” catchline over a map of Kashmir.

Too Bad. His Bit About Arafat And Ringo Starr Being The Same Person Was Hysterical: A comedian scheduled to open for Jewish comic Jackie Mason was told hours before the show he couldn't perform because he is Palestinian. Ray Hanania, who's also a columnist for the Daily Herald in Arlington Heights, Ill., was supposed to open for Mason on Tuesday night at Zanies comedy club in Chicago, but the club phoned him a few hours before to tell him his act was canceled. Mason has been an outspoken member of the Jewish community. His manager cited recent Israeli-Palestinian violence and delayed peace talks in explaining the decision. "It's not exactly like he's just an Arab-American. This guy's a Palestinian," said Jill Rosenfeld, Mason's manager. "Jackie does not feel comfortable having a Palestinian open for him. Right now it's a very sensitive thing. It's just not a good idea."

And He Doesn’t Exactly Sound Like A Terrorist: “I have stood up with Jewish leaders in Chicago to denounce terrorism by Hamas. But I have yet to find pro-Israeli supporters willing to publicly denounce Israeli violence by the military or settlers.” Ray Hanania, writing in the Daily Herald in Arlington Heights, Ill, Aug. 23.

Come To Saudi; Buy An Audi: The Saudi government has spent millions of dollars on well-connected lobbyists and national television advertisements since Sept. 11 in a drive to improve its image among Americans and is poised to spend more as the anniversary of the events approaches.

Couldn’t We Just Merge This With The Anna Nicole Show? CBS is planning a reality show based on the concept of the Beverly Hillbillies in which a family from the heartland moves to Beverly Hills.

Ladies And Gentlemen, Meet Bernie Ebbers And His Family: “That’s not to say if we discover the perfect family from another area of the country we wouldn't consider them," said a CBS spokesperson about the Hillbillies show. "We're looking for a family from a very rural area that hasn't been exposed to big-city life or luxuries of life in any way."

Reader Riff Of The Week: James McDonald, Publisher Metro-Philadelphia took issue with my criticism of the changes in newspapers and their business models: “When are traditional daily newspapers going to stop kidding themselves about circulation growth and realize that there has been a fundamental shift in consumer behavior? Today’s lifestyle, especially for younger and female readers, is time crunched and filled with various opportunities to get news, most of them for free!

How have papers reacted to try to get these readers back? They’ve added more sections and content, making it even harder to navigate through their pages. Even the people that still buy daily newspapers don’t read the whole thing. Think about it, how much time did you spend with a newspaper today-20 minutes? I’d bet not more, and you are most likely in the media business. When editors and publishers come out of the “ivory tower” perhaps they may realize that they need fundamental change based on today’s consumer lifestyle. The biggest innovation in the newspaper business in the last 50 years has been color, sorry but that doesn’t cut it. Imagine if we were all still listening to 8 tracks? One publisher that does get it is Metro International. In 7 years Metro has grown to 10.8 million readers daily by providing a 20 minute read-in a timeslot when people can read it. The future of newspapers is being transported from Europe to the U.S. Closed minded editors and publishers are unlikely and unwilling to give up on their stale paradigm. Hey, I’m alright with that.”