• by John Gaffney , August 15, 2002

And Ken Lay Will Chair The Panel Discussion On Accounting: Gerald Levin, the former CEO of AOL/Time Warner, will be a keynote speaker at the fifth annual Middle Market Conference -- Mergers, Acquisitions & Finance, organized by the Los Angeles Chapter of the Association for Corporate Growth (ACG).

Now You’ll Think Your Friend’s New Email Is Actually A Virus: A British marketing firm said Monday it would pay nearly $800 each to five people for the right to transform them into human billboards for a fantasy superhero. Acclaim UK is seeking applicants who will legally change their names for one year to promote the latest installment of its video game series about Turok, a time-traveling American Indian who slays bionically enhanced dinosaurs. The Institute of Science in Marketing, a business group supporting the effort, expects its so-called Identity Marketing technique will catch on as the next big thing for companies eager to reach consumers dulled to conventional advertising. "It's not a gimmick ... Every form of their identity will have to change for this to work," said Acclaim spokesman Andrew Bloch. "They'll be walking, talking, living, breathing advertisements."

Did They Rate Media Planners In This Survey?: Matchmaking site Date.com says that despite the seemingly endless stream of corporate financial scandals and the Arthur Anderson accounting firm downfall, singles say they would still prefer to date an accountant rather than go out with the perennial butt of sarcastic jokes, the trial lawyer. And to show just how far accountants remain from the bottom of the dating pool, they might be happy to learn they are preferred as dates by a better than four-to-one margin over the lowly house burglar.

Who Do You Trust? The Techie?……” The newspaper business is going to die within the next twenty years. Newspaper publishing will continue, but only as a philanthropic venture.” Arnold Kling, writing in Tech Central Station.

Or The King?….. Walter Cronkite wrote in a New York Times piece: "It is the content that is important and the Republic, indeed no society, cannot live without that which only the newspaper provides -- the daily recording of our history and the presentation to the people of the facts on which they can meaningfully participate in this democracy."

Reader Riff Of The Week #1: Mediasmith’ Dave Smith responded to my ruminations about the battle between cable and network PR machines: “As long as cable and network are different marketplaces (which they are) are planned differently (which they are as they contribute to reach and frequency very differently) have vastly different demographics (network is very average but still mass, cable is generally very upscale/skewed to specific markets), they need to be dealt with as two different media options. And they will be competitive as many advertisers still put money in the more expensive general network options when, with lower budgets, their money just might go further with more targeted cable. At the expense of reach but to the credit of effectiveness.”

Reader Riff Of The Week #2: After I notified Riff readers that my wife and I had sworn the accuracy of our checking account, The Michael Alan Group’s Evan Fleischer wrote: “I would like to commend you on the outstanding example you have set by certifying your checking account balance by 5pm yesterday. You are an inspiration to CEOs of family units everywhere.

Specifically, the example you have set has inspired my wife and I to certify the balance of our own checking account, which has been subject to shady accounting practices for years. In the past, we have been able to keep the discrepancies in our books hidden from our majority shareholder, our dog Oscar, which has prevented him from selling off his shares in the company and jumping ship. But, by certifying the balance of our checking account, my wife and I have ushered in a new era of corporate responsibility to our family unit. We have restated our earnings to Oscar, and it is my hope that he will recognize that our intentions are noble, and not be afraid of sticking with the company when he realizes how dire the straits actually are. He is one tough cookie, and I am certain that he will bring these issues up (along with whatever he has eaten out of the garbage can) at our next board meeting.

My wife and I have entered a new and exciting time in the management of our family unit, though we still can’t agree on who is the CEO and who is the CFO. Sometimes, she likes for me to be “Chairman of the Board,” but that’s a whole different story all together. Thank you again for your bravery and leadership.