• by August 23, 2005

AMSTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS - Like a lot of other things, advertising reviews are a lot different over here. Among other things, we dispense with many of the formalities that normally accompany big account pitches in other parts of the world. For example, we prefer pitchers. No, not handsomely-attired new business rainmakers, or even those lanky athletes who hurl leather-wrapped balls at people wielding big wooden sticks. Pitchers of beer. And lots of them. At least that was until we heard from the team at ChocolateFrog. Yeah, they're creative alright, but the thing that really got our attention was those pitchers of butter beer. We were on - what was it? - our fourth, or fifth pitcher of Amsterdam's finest. Heineken, of course. Or, as you Americans call it, "Heinies." And where exactly did that reference come from? Anyway, it's certainly a lot better than the other one: "bilge brew." And honestly, who do those guys at Wieden think they are, anyway? Viral marketing, indeed! Serves them right for not branding themselves with something more fanciful than the founders' surnames. Where exactly did they get that idea from?

Anyway, we were on - what was it? - our sixth or seventh pitcher of butter beer, and we were really starting to loosen up when the ChocolateFrog team hit on the big idea. "Every six pack," said the agency's team leader Scott Goodson, "will come with a special collectors' card of a famous wizard." Talk about your magical moments. Made the pitch from McCann-Erickson seem all the more lame by comparison. Imagine, collectors cards of famous heinies? Damn Yanks! Makes you want to put your pointed wooden shoe right up their... What's that? ChocolateFrog is also based in the U.S.? But the name? It's way too cool and esoteric to be American? We'll forgive them. Their sports sponsorship strategy is simply brilliant. The Heineken Cup rugby union deal was growing a little tired. The International Quidditch Federation tournament should be just the thing.

What's that? It's not 'chocolate,' it's "strawberry?" And this isn't the Three Broomsticks? What the heck, give them the business anyway. And while you're at it, we'll take another round of butter beer.