• by whitley , November 23, 2005

More than 40 years after Sex and the Single Girl was first published, Cosmo is the highest circulation women's magazine on the stand. Millions of women around the country rely on the magazine's dating and sex advice. Yet we're living in a time when a lot of single women are following "The Rules," from that nasty old-fashioned book that convinces a woman that if she hides her personality, never calls a man, and hangs up after ten minutes when he calls, she'll become empowered and snag the guy--when in fact, she is really manipulating the poor soul (it's no wonder one of the book's authors had a marriage that ended in divorce.) In the age of "The Rules," here's the game according to the ladies at Cosmo.

1. "Just hug it out." On the mag's "What's Cosmo this Minute..." page, the editors suggests taking "a cue from the guys on 'Entourage'" when you have a fight with your husband or boyfriend "over a trivial issue." Not bad advice.

2. In the "Ask Him Anything" section, a reader asks advice guru Jonathan Small what she should do if a guy tells her that "he doesn't have time for a relationship," but doesn't want her to see anyone else. As if any smart woman would really accept this. Small empowers the reader with some tough and correct love: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this dude is t-r-o-u-b-l-e.... Not only that, but he doesn't want to be your boyfriend. It couldn't be any clearer if he said it right to your face. Oh, wait, he did say it to your face."

3. In the "Man Manual" section, the editors say that guys size you up "by watching how you interact with the restaurant and bar staff (be nice) and how you react if he pays the bill (say thank you)." That is, unless the restaurant staff is rude--and I would add, if he asks you to pay the bill, you should run for the door.

4. In the Love and Lust section, an article called "Make Him Run Home to You" says that in order to ramp up your guy's anticipation and "ensure he skips that after-work drink," you should "give him an ego boost when he least expects it." Just don't boost it too much--and you may want him to stay out for a while, anyway.

5. "Woman On Top" says that guys like it when you're on top (in bed) and offers a number of positions to try, including the "sit 'n' pin" which "puts you in the drivers seat so you can control the speed and motion." Wow.

Cosmo has come a long way in the 40 years since it was reinvented as a women's magazine by Helen Gurley Brown. Thank God, its rules have evolved with the times--and actually empower women in the way that they deserve.