• by October 8, 2003

TUNE IN TWO WEEKS LATER? - Riff is sympathetic to Fox's problem every fall, getting its primetime schedule launched amid baseball. While it's a great platform to promote the new programs, it might be a little too much to ask viewers to remember that a new show will start Oct. 20. At least it was the evening of Monday, Oct. 6, in the midst of a thrilling divisional championship between the Oakland Athletics and the Boston Red Sox. That's when Riff was biting nails trying to decide whether the next week would see the Red Sox play the Yankees and perhaps reverse the curse of the Bambino.

IT AIN'T EXACTLY ROMEO AND JULIET, BUT MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING - On the other hand, kudos to Fox for making "Skin" look like a winner. Riff will admit to sniffing at the trailer during Fox's upfront last May in New York City. "Romeo and Juliet" has been remade several times, probably most winningly since the original in 1999's "Shakespeare in Love." A soft-core pornographer and the district attorney who aims to put him in jail aren't exactly the Montagues and the Capulets, are they? When Shakespeare wrote "Two households, both alike in dignity," that's NOT what he meant. But, five months later, Riff thinks "Skin" might fly on the strength of strong acting.

IS THIS REALLY A GOOD IDEA? - Anyone else dumfounded by Fox's thinking with the second "Joe Millionaire?" When the network announced last spring that it would tempt fate with a second season of what became a runaway hit, Riff wasn't sure how they would do it. If there was ever a one-off premise, "Joe Millionaire" was it. But Fox executives assured reporters in a sweeps call earlier this year that they had come up with a way of doing it but refused for competitive reasons to disclose it then. But make it international? Is that the best they could come up with? What's next? Cancellation, hopefully.

BY ANY OTHER NAME - ABC may be downsizing reality programming this season with all but "The Bachelor" and "Extreme Makeover," even though reality intruded in a most unpleasant way on sitcom "8 Simple Rules." But Spanish-language Telemundo (owned by rival NBC) is hoping to score big with a show called "La Cenicienta," or "Cinderella." It's a Spanish-language version of "The Bachelorette," with 20 bachelors vying for the hand of a woman. But Tapestry, Starcom's multicultural agency, notes that "La Cenicienta" will have a distinctly Latin flair. The would-be princess won't get to pick the man by herself but will have to win approval from her family.

PUT YOUR PRODUCT HERE - Here's an idea for federal regulators to contemplate Ralph Nader's request to label product placement on television shows: Whenever the placed product appears on the screen, flash "SHAMELESS PLUG" in big, bold letters. Wait, that's essentially what Nader's group wants to do.