• by Mitch Oscar , Op-Ed Contributor, April 3, 2007

OK, so I buy into the Happy Meal concept. Two great companies are broadbanding together (NBCU/News Corp) to offer the consumer the best meal in town. Comes with all kinds of stuff. Got it. Have it your way. Wow. An extensive menu catering to your taste. You want pickles. We got pickles. You don't have to have pickles but we got 'em. Got buns: toasted, not toasted, wheat, white, with sesames or without sesames. Ketchup, mustard. Condiments covered, baby. You want it supersized. Supersize me, sweetheart. Got the recognizable storefronts, big brand associations (Yahoo, MSN, AOL, News Corp-owned MySpace), terrific distribution (96+% U.S.) and experienced sales staff (AOL).

All the fast food algorithms in place, except for one thing: Where's the beef? Ya know, the substance. The stuff you sink your teeth into. The addictive part that gets everyone coming back, again and again -- and is good for you, without a warning from the Surgeon General.

To my knowledge, no one is going to have a satisfying meal when the menu is comprised of a limited amount of short clips, repurposed episodes (broadcast, cable, teleco) that are already on everybody's menu (TV station affiliate Web sites, syndicated Web sites, video portals) and movies that are accessible from a variety of sources (theatres, premium channels, DVDs, and downloading services). The only people who seem to be digesting this meal are the press and the street -- both dependent on the Happy Meal for a living.