• by January 19, 2004

DYSFUNCTIONAL AD BOWL - Maybe it's all those testosterone-charged jocks scrimmaging on the field, but the Super Bowl has always seemed like the ultimate event for manly men. So why would this year's game require not one, but ads from three different marketers of sexual impotence drugs. Why else, to pump up their sales. Whatever the reason, all three of the major erectile dysfunction drugs - Pfizer's Viagra, Eli Lilly's Cialis and GlaxoSmithKline's and Bayer's Levitra - will vie for this year's Super Ad Bowl. These, of course, are not the only unconventional advertisers to take to the field during this year's Big Game. In fact, Super Bowl XXXVIII could well be called the Advocacy Bowl. This year's list of sponsors include anti-tobacco campaigner the American Legacy Foundation, as well as tobacco-booster Philip Morris. But the most interesting issues spots may be the ones that won't be airing during the game. CBS has rejected an anti-Bush campaign developed by MoveOn.org, as well as a spot from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). CBS' reasons for bumping the MoveOn.org spot might seem logical, but they don't seem fair when you consider that the network is expected to run an anti-drug ad from the White House. Meanwhile, the Riff senses a hidden agenda in the rejection of PETA's ad, which talked about how eating meat causes impotence. Then again, the PETA spots might have proven a perfect set-up for the erectile dysfunction drug marketers. Alas, it seems you can't have your meat and eat it too.

EXPANDING THE MEDIA UNIVERSE - Extraterrestrials apparently like to hang together, even in the media universe. Sirius, the off-planet radio network that emanates from space, today will begin beaming live coverage of NASA's Mars mission briefings Monday-Friday from noon to 1 p.m. (ET) on its entertainment stream 135. Never mind that the centerpiece of this mission, the photo-snapping, six-wheeled Sprint rover, is a highly visual experience, you'll still be able to listen along to its escapades while tooling around in your four-wheeled terrestrial rovers.

STOP THE PRESSES - It's rare to find a newspaper reporter who doesn't harbor some kind of grudge against his publisher. Mark Brown got to live every reporter's dream in his Chicago Sun-Times column today: He delivered a few blows to his (well-deserving) former boss, ex-Hollinger chief Lord Conrad Black. "I knew I was working for some sleazeballs, but who doesn't feel that way sometimes." While he gave kudos to Lord Black for investing in a new printing press, he also points out that they treated employees with contempt and seemed to think of themselves first: "I knew they were squeezing this place for every last dime they could wring out of it, but that's generally viewed as good business practices these days."

OOPS! - Friday's Riff got it wrong. Lisa Banks, an attorney representing former USA Today reporter Jack Kelley, has pointed out that her client is still under investigation but it has not been proven that he actually fabricated any stories.