• by February 2, 2004

OF TOPS, SPEED AND SOME SUPER MOMENTS - What is it about live mass television audiences that causes white boys to do nasty things to black women? Overactive libidos aside, the Riff thinks it's about another kind of desire - the public relations kind. If you are to believe the statements of Viacom networks CBS and MTV that Justin Timberlake's partial disrobing of Janet Jackson during last night's Super Bowl halftime show was "unrehearsed, unplanned, completely unintentional" was written by spin controllers, you clearly did not observe their on-stage reactions in super-slow motion - over and over and over again on TiVo - as the Riff did into the wee hours of the night. While it did seem that Jackson was startled by the sudden exposure of her right breast in front of what likely was the largest television audience of the year, not to mention the scores of thousands of spectators in Reliant Stadium, Timberlake barely skipped a beat and appeared quite poised and almost defiant in a strut-like pose while holding Jackson's breastplate before CBS' cameras cut away. He even seemed to be holding the item behind his back for a brief moment in a "gotcha" kind of gesture.

Jackson, by contrast, looked suddenly to her right, then down quickly before the network's editors cut to a billboard of the ironically positioned AOL "Topspeed" banner. Clearly, it was a moment that was all about tops and speed. It was also about fame - or infamy, depending on your side of the PR perspective. In fact, what's really got the Riff fantasizing like a Monday morning quarterback isn't the metallic ring that was clearly festooning Jackson's right nipple, but the notion that Timberlake had some kind of secret sideline wager with actor Adrien Brody, who's impromptu ravishing of actress Halle Berry during his Oscar acceptance speech was live TV's previous most notorious white boy moment. Okay, so that's a little too conspiratorial, but it's not so far-fetched to think that Timberlake was at least inspired by the media attention Brody generated with his ambush smooch. After all, what's the water coolant flowing throughout America today? Surely, not the outcome of the Big Game itself, or even the farty, crotch-ridden ad campaigns that broke during it. The buzz is all about the speed with which tops can be removed on national TV.

SPEEDY POLLS DEBATE WHO ACTUALLY TOPPED WHO? - Once again, the Riff is confused. And it's not just about the reasons for nipple rings, but by all the spin coming out of the torrent of advertising polls spawned by the ad campaigns breaking in last night's Super Bowl. One well-regarded poll - USA Today's so-called Ad Meter - has proclaimed Anheuser-Busch's "fetching dog spot" for Bud Light the most popular. Another, America Online's Super Bowl Ad Poll, has proclaimed Bud Light's gas engine "sleigh ride" as the top spot. Sill another, ad agency McKee Wallwork Henderson's "Adbowl," says Budweiser's "Donkey dream" takes top honors. Aside from wondering why the best minds of American advertising couldn't muster anything better than crotch-biting dogs, farting sleigh horses, braying donkeys - not to mention bestial-minded chimpanzees - the Riff wants to know why so many elevate Super Bowl advertising to be such an important part of American culture. False teeth gags for Lay's potato chips - yech! Homer Simpson endorsements for MasterCard - Doh! Amazingly, these lowbrow approaches have not deterred some Madison Avenue pundits from waxing on like they're high art. "It was a Horatio Alger and Frank Capra story rolled up into a donkey's dream," was how Steve McKee, president of ad shop MWH, explained the appeal of Bud's donkey spot. Amazingly, the agency also divined some political topicality out of the appeal of some of the spots. The agency found that Democrats, not surprisingly, preferred Budweiser's "Donkey Dream," as did Independent voters. Republican's inexplicably liked Bud Light's "Sleigh Ride" commercial.

Meanwhile, other pundits have raced forward with Monday morning analyses of the marketing implications behind some campaigns, including one from marketing consultancy Buzzmarketing that predicts some actual brand loyalty shifts as a result of one soft drink marketer's ads. But two of the ad efforts from Pepsi may end up canceling each other out, says the firm. While Pepsi's iTunes promotion spots are likely to actually get some consumers to switch to Pepsi, Buzzmarketing predicted a backlash - particularly among women - to another Pepsi spot depicting an obese waitress would actually turn some drinkers away from the brand. This would be surprising in either direction, noted the firm, citing research form Opinion Dynamics that indicates 90 percent of people never switch brands based on Super Bowl ads.