• by January 14, 2004

JUST FOR THE RECORD, THE RIFF GETS UP AT 5:45 MOST MORNINGS - "What time do you wake up in the morning and decide how you are going to f--- Mel Karmazin?" That, according to former Viacom shockjock Opie was how current Viacom "muckety-muck" Mel Karmazin called him and radio partner Anthony out on the carpet the time "we almost got fired closer than we almost got fired before." While the radio duo do not disclose the nature of that particular offense in their first "on the record" interview since ultimately being fired for hosting a contest that led to a couple being accused of having sex in Saint Patrick's Cathedral, Opie and Anthony do apparently have a lot to say in the issue of FHM hitting newsstands now. Mostly, the team offer the magazine's readers expert advice on how to annoy Big Media bosses. "The bosses really get you with your contract. We can get them with hijinks, but in the end, when they pull out the paper you signed, ouch. There are some contractual things that we really can't discuss that are keeping us off the air," said Anthony. "I tried to read our contract before signing it, but by the fifth page, I was dizzy... We learned about the clause that's keeping us from working for anyone else after we got fired," added Opie. In their final analysis, the unemployed pair said they are taking their corporate media banishment as a "compliment" to their "talent and destructive" abilities. "It's sort of a tribute to the potential that we have to wreak havoc." We don't know about you, but the Riff suspects it is exactly that attitude that has kept cute little Opie off the air ever since Viacom's CBS unit canceled the long-running "Andy Griffith Show" back in the 70s.

SPEAKING OF EXPLETIVES THAT ARE SOMETIMES DELETED. The FCC is reconsidering its decision to let rock star Bono off the hook for his impromptu use of the f-word during NBC's telecast of the Golden Globe Awards last year. FCC Chairman Michael Powell Tuesday circulated a draft order among the five-member commission that would overrule a decision by its Enforcement Bureau in October that initially deemed the utterance, and NBC's broadcast of it, not obscene or indecent. The bureau originally said Bono's use of the word was an "adjective" used to emphasize the euphoria of the moment and not a crude description of "sexual activity." Specifically, Bono said, "this is f---ing great." The bureau's decision was deemed a dangerous precedent by some, because it theoretically could further relax rules for broadcast obscenity. But Powell's new order would ban any broadcast of the f-word and could result in as much as a $2.5 million fine for NBC. But even as the broadcast world awaits a final word on when, where and if it can use the f-word, print media appear to be spit on the topic. In its coverage of Powell's order Dow Jones deleted the expletive, while the competing Reuters news service printed the word itself. British-owned Reuters did, however, run a cautionary statement ("First paragraph of this story contains language that may be offensive to some readers.") before using it. Meanwhile, the Riff thinks the whole f---ing thing is politically motivated. The Bush Administration simply is looking to get even and is using the rock star as a scapegoat to settle its score with Bono's pal, former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill for blowing their whistles in "The Price of Loyalty," a new tell-all book about the President.

SPEAKING OF POLITICAL MOTIVATIONS. Americans are growing increasingly convinced that the news media's coverage of political campaigns is biased and they are choosing their media outlets to match their own political beliefs. That, at least, is what the well-regarded Pew Research Center claims to have found from a new survey on the political news preferences of U.S. voters. Pew Director Andrew Kohut says the development is a natural outgrowth of media fragmentation. "People can gravitate to what pleases them." The poll of 1,500 U.S. adults found that accusations of news media bias are not coming just from conservative "liberal media" bashers, though the results do show Republicans still dominate in that view. Forty-two percent of Republicans surveyed by Pew said campaign coverage favors Democrats, while 29 percent of Democrats believe it favors Republicans.

AND WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE CAME OUT IN SUPPORT OF THE ACLU? - With the left-swinging American Civil Liberties Union suddenly siding with right-winger Rush Limbaugh, the Riff is no longer sure where it stands on the issue surrounding Rush's drug-related medical files. Even ACLU executive director concedes that the alliances seems "odd," but that Limbaugh qualifies for the same Bill of Rights protections that the ACLU strives to safeguard for others. This reminds the Riff of the times the ACLU has supported the Ku Klux Klan's right to rally under the freedom of assembly provisions of the First Amendment.