• by John Gaffney , November 6, 2002

When The World Was Flat As A Pancake, Mona Lisa Was Happy As A Clam: That was the working title of a John Prine song that never made it to record. The actual song that did make it (A Big Old Goofy World) is a brilliant poke at similes like: “You oughta see his wife/She’s a cute little dish/ Smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish.” I threw all this in here because I was trying to come up with a simile for “flat.” Flat like the new Newspaper Association of America report, which shows absolutely miniscule increase or decrease in readership or circulation of the nation’s newspapers. I’m telling you, you can go check the report at the NAA’s site and you will not find a change above one percent up or down over Q2 2002 or Q3 2001. I’m talkin’ flat. But you know what? Flat is a win for newspapers. The Internet sites attached to most of the major media companies attract big numbers. I think newspapers (in print) are lucky to see flat this year. And it will be an achievement to see flat next year as well.

Take Your Time: The FCC extended its deadline yesterday for 30 more days of public comment on its proposal to relax media ownership rules. That extension will not postpone the inevitable, which if is the FCC erasing media ownership rules by May 2003. When the Democrats finally get a read on the license plate of the truck that hit them on Election Day, they need to rally some kind of resistance to the Republican-led FCC. No fight sends a bad signal.

Going Postal: In other Washington news, (I loved writing that) I’m taking the under on bets that postal rates will remain steady ‘til 2006. That’s what the postmaster general said could happen this week. Here’s why it will happen. GWB will look awfully good to every newspaper and magazine in this country if he does away with ownership rules and holds the line on postage. Awfully good, that is, with a second term on the line.