• by Mitch Oscar , Op-Ed Contributor, June 23, 2009

The Anecdote Preceding the Precedent
A few years ago on a mild sunny, Saturday afternoon my wife got into a traffic accident with another vehicle. It wasn't her fault. Really. A woman and her young son were in the process of making an indiscreet left turn on a country road when they spied my wife and young son in her leased orange Mini Cooper with the racing strips and convertible top and froze mid-turn. As my wife later explained, she tried to avoid the startled woman -- but given the woman's waffling and the heading-on traffic in the opposite lane, there was little wiggle room. She ground the car to a halt, but unfortunately tapping the other woman's vehicle was a result. The police officers on the scene, and later the insurance company, vindicated her story. The kiss my wife bestowed upon the waffled car was more of a caress than smack. An external assessment, when I arrived on the scene. Everyone was alright. The insurance companies would assess the outcome of the gentle intercourse.

A week later we were informed by our insurance company that my wife's car was totaled due to a hairline fracture in the chassis. In other words, the bodice was busted though barely visible to naked peerage. A new racing striped, orange Mini Cooper convertible was needed. We contacted our dealer who informed us that had the incident occurred seven days earlier he could have provided us with a replacement immediately. However, given the demand for the now very popular Mini, the rotation cycle for their arrival in the States -- they are a British car manufactured by Germany's BMW -- would take three months. Did we want to be added to the long waiting list. A Mini's a must 00 my wife and I concurred. We joined the line. Now for a suitable rental. Three month's worth. The insurance representative uncomfortably explained that most cars are fixed within a two to three week window. The accident wasn't our fault, I re-informed him. That is correct, he reaffirmed.

The next day, my insurance broker spoke with their insurance agent and all was arranged. Three month's worth. Apparently our policy guarantees that we should "not experience any out of pocket costs as a result of the accident." I thanked them.

Three months later.

Our newly minted orange Mini Cooper with the racing strips and black convertible top arrived. So did unpaid passed along bills from the insurance company. Didn't cover the cost of few weeks of rental fees as well as an obscure $800 fee for bank processing and registration of the new vehicle. I queried: "not experience any out of pocket costs as a result of the accident." They monolithically resisted.

Tuesday morning I filed with our county small claims court. By Thursday the insurance company contacted me, pledging to rectify out of pocket costs. The following day I received a check for the last rental weeks. No $800 bank processing and registration reimbursement.

One month later.

A dark suited, dowdy insurance lawyer and I stood before the small claims court justice on a wet Monday evening. The sympathetic judge asked if I wished to be represented by council. I declined. The defense attorney proceeded to cite the 1996 ruling of John Jay vs. The Ice Cream Truck. The judge asked me to respond. I asked for a recess to find council.

One month later.

I hired a lawyer for representation. He successfully countered the Ice Cream Truck attack with a different flavor. The insurance company's defense melted. They acquiesced to pay me my $800. Why the retreat without an appeal, I queried. My lawyer explained that if we successfully prosecuted our claim it would become part of the official record which meant that any claimant in the future could cite it, and most probably successfully litigate based upon its merits. In other words, a legal precedent.


The Hotel Room Service Bill
Earlier this month I paneled at the Credit Suisse Global Media and Communications Convergence Conference in Dana Point, California. The morning of my panel I ordered breakfast in: pancakes. They arrived with garnish, a glass of water and a $41.54 bill.



A Precedent for the Pay TV Industry
I don't know about you, but I find it very difficult to comprehend my pay TV bill. There are multifaceted fees and taxes that I am sure are applicable and enable me to benefit from the services that my triple play package rewards me on a monthly basis:

I'm positive that the minute detail delineated in the monthly bill was mandated by the government to comply with regulatory oversight. However, couldn't the pay TV industry or shouldn't the pay TV industry adopt and argue The Hotel Room Service precedent for future billings.

Charge me a fixed monthly rate for video and slap on a delivery (or gratuity) charge, and then a hefty service charge. And don't forget tax. Repeat independently for broadband access and telephony. And of course, offer subscribers the opportunity to show appreciation for services delivered by enabling us to include an additional gratuity. I think we all would digest the monthly statement more easily. I know I would.