• by Mitch Oscar , Op-Ed Contributor, June 30, 2009

Last month my satcaster stuffed my monthly biller with a 6-page, weathered-white and dull-black, densely worded, succinctly titled brochure entitled PRIVACY POLICY.
This informative piece of literature was divided into the following non-paginated,accordioned sections and opened with "dedicated to protecting consumer privacy":

Part I: Types of Information We Collect And How We Collect It

Section A

*Account Information
*Service Information
*Anonymous Viewing Information
*Diagnostic Information
*Commerce Information
*Website Information
*Cookies
*Electronic Newsletters
*Aggregate Information About Web Site Visitors
*Links To Other Web Sites

Section B: Personally Identifiable Viewing Information

Part II: Use of Customer Information

Part III: When We Share Customer Information With Third Parties

*Support Services
*Third Party Services
*Affiliated Companies
*Marketing
*Legal Requirements
*Sale Or Transfer Of The Business

Part IV: Your Choices Regarding Our Collection & Use Of Customer Information

Part V: How Long We Keep Customer Information

Part VI: Our Do Not Contact Policy

Part VII: How We Protect The Security Of Customer Information

Part VIII: Online Credit Card Transactions

Part IX: Your Access To Information & Rights Under The Communications Act

Part X: Changes To This Privacy Policy

h.........e.........l.........p!

 

"hello... hello... hello
is there anybody in there
just nod if you can hear me
is there anyone at home"
Mr. & Mrs. Floyd