• by Kathy Sharpe , June 1, 2001

Sharpe Partners has been actively and selectively hiring since before we designed the logo in June 1999. We’ve seen all the seismic changes in the employment market. And with 8 positions currently open we also have had the real experience necessary to advise today’s potential candidates. So here are ten things that will insure that you do not get a job, interview or anything other than a hardy laugh at your cover letter. Please note everything described is based on real life experiences.

1) Addressing your cover letter to “ Dude”. Proving you didn’t check out our web site. “Dude-dette” might have at least earned a screening call.

2) Claiming to be both a “trendsetter and a trend follower”, in the same sentence. Just say it, you spent most of your career chasing your own butt.

3) Showing up for the interview 45 minutes late or 45 minutes early. We aren’t looking for clock watchers but we do have relatively limited reception space.

4) Replacing last year’s attitude of insufferable arrogance with one of helpless, cringing desperation.

5) Being shocked that you are about to be tested on your coding skills. Asking for time to “brush up” is not a positive.

6) Listing your fraternity or sorority involvement under leadership skills if you graduated before June 2001.

7) Not recognizing that your assertion of “positively impacting the business” of three now failed dot.coms is counter-intuitive.

8) Asking for Options, unless of course you mean your choice of a MAC or a PC.

9) Dressing to show your navel, regardless of gender.

10) Understanding that if you do not have any of the experience outlined in the job description, you do not have any of the experience required for the job.

So after all this what’s my best advice, and yes I have been unemployed in my career, TAKE AS MUCH TIME OFF AS POSSIBLE. Immediately power down everything. Cut all spending to the essentials: rent, food, books, movies, wine. Learn to live on the generosity of your employed friends, relatives and marginal strangers. The jobs will be here in the Fall. And given the rush of the industry we all live and thrive in you may never have another chance to really take a deep breath again. Dude.

Kathy Sharpe is Founder/Partner of Sharpe Partners