• by Kendall Allen , January 11, 2010

During a week when many of my brood were at CES in Vegas, I was out West doing something very different, yet related -- private training for corporate executives on the industry and business of digital. As 2010 began and a show whose core is all about progress was raging on in my periphery -- I appreciated the themes percolating in the boardroom.

 

This immersive week digging in with marketing executives made my plane ride back even more fantastic. Not having gotten an upgrade, I had much to consider. Somewhere over the middle of the country, in a post-business-trip haze of groggy reflection and bad pinot noir, I watched as a guy leaned across the aisle, jostling my shoulder. He was talking, but for a moment his snappy fedora and really skinny tie were all I could see. Then, his words registered.

"Excuse me, have a light?"

"Um, no. You can't smoke in here. For some years now?"

"I'm pissed, I need a drag. Can I talk to you? I thought I heard you say something on that thing in your hand -- is that a phone? -- when we were boarding, are you in advertising?"

"Well, it's an aspect of what I do, but..."

"What? Never mind. I need to talk. So, look, I am in Advertising with a capital A. Was just meeting my boys in Los Angeles. Tell me if you get this..."

"OK. Wait -- your name?"

"Yeah, love, I'm Mr. Big Idea."

"Go ahead."

"So, anyway, I'm talking to my boys. They call this meeting with all these people I'd never met. My executive creative director was there. But, he wasn't standing up at the head of the room. There were research people in the room. And the Media people! My boy, Jack, the ECD kept using this sickening word - collaboration or something. There was some banter about 'driving insights' and how we activate across channels?!"

"Makes sense to me. Go on."

"You are kidding me? All this blathering about the consumers, driving insights, collaboration, and channeling -- most of which was way too complicated for even me to humor. I mean you can take me anywhere. I can sing; I can dance. But, STOP!"

Practically on cue, a woman came bursting through the curtains from first class and sauntered down the aisle. Disheveled -- a power suit in tatters, tousled hair and spectacles askew -- she swaggered past shooting her doe eyes at Mr. Big. He was motionless.

"Who was that? She seems to know you," I asked Big.

"Oh, that was the Agency Model." Big grimaced.

"She looked a bit rough, out of sorts."

"Who cares? No one cares. I may be of another era, but I don't even care. Not what she looks like, how she's put together, how much sway she has... OK, so back to me."

"You two might have a good conversation..."

"Back to me. So, my guys are going on  and on - and I'm not getting it. Where's the respect? At my best, I've made grown men cry. I've made people everywhere giddy with hope. So, I stood and said, 'Stop the madness! I am going wide, baby. Just like it always is. You love me. They will love me in droves.'"

"So what happened?"

"They kicked me out. Told me they would get back to me when they knew how they were going to activate me, what my 'cross channel' story would be. Said something else about this damn consumer person and told me to go."

"Maybe you should just take off that hat and loosen your tie."

My seat got bumped from behind, and I turned just as two people -- a familiar man and woman, cracking up, were being pulled along by the Agency Model. They were holding a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and tipping down the aisle, arm in arm, clearly very happy. "Look who I found storming from the back!" Agency M. looked positively charmed, enlightened, "This is Mobile and Video! They just told me it's their year!"

Agency M. swooshed aside the curtains, yanking Mobile and Video up front, "I'm taking these kids with me!"  She seemed to squeeze Mobile's muscular arms. I could feel the plane making its descent. On came the PA.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot the consumer. As we begin our initial descent, I'd like to alert you to a change in plans. We'll be refueling and going for another ride of my choice. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask."

As though by electrical jolt, "Rats! Her again?! She's like a penny that keeps turning up. Alright, I GET it!" I looked over at Mr. Big Idea. He was clutching his fedora and sobbing. But he looked relieved, too. After all, he had so many new places to go.