• by Holly Pavlika , Columnist, August 3, 2012

Generally speaking, it appears the world thinks we moms are a stressed out lot. Our plates are overloaded, we get little sleep, and we’re just overwhelmed with the responsibilities of motherhood, family and careers. Just Google “mommy stress” if you don’t believe me. Like chimpanzees and other living things, moms are fast becoming one of the most studied creatures on earth. Every marketer wants to see what makes us tick. And at the top of the list is stressed. 

A study by Kansas City University says we can relieve some of our stress by playing with our children. 

If that doesn’t do the trick, reading blogs has been found to help. According to Penn State University and Brigham Young, reading blogs helps us feel less alone. But avoid Facebook as that won’t be as much help. 

And an overwhelmed mom might turn to technology for assistance. We are adopting smartphones by the thousands and Baby Center found technology helps us feel like better mothers with giving us the answers we require right at our fingertips. And having answers at the ready has to help with the stress.
We are so stressed there’s even a national, once-a-year, official Mom’s Night Out event. Once-a-year, really?

To cope, other studies show we have become big gamers squeezing in mindless online gaming to escape for even a little while. 

So I asked 100 moms of the MOMentum community what they thought about their stress. The moms were pretty evenly split between SAHMs (Stay-at-home moms) 60% were WAHMs (Work Away Home Moms). 69% said they felt stressed as a mother for about 50% of the time. And they would turn for help to most likely their spouse, not their own mother. What would help most? 30% said a housekeeper, 23% said a personal assistant, with spousal help coming in third at 19%. 

But the real blame may be our seemingly universal issue of not being able to say no to friends, family and colleagues. 70% said this was a problem.
Are we our own worse enemies? 

No one told us we needed to multi-task at light speed each and every day. No one is expecting us to be perfect except ourselves. We don’t have to fill calendars, be superb cooks, show off beautiful Pinterest boards or set off to impact/change the world by righting some wrong. 

We need to remind ourselves that it’s okay to “take a day off,” grab a little me time or let something wait till the next weekend. Wanting “me time” has been the result of many a mom study so let’s grab us some and do the world and ourselves a favor by taking a break.

I think we will be doing our daughters (and families) a great favor if we learn to relax and be less stressed. The existence of the mother/daughter bond is a known fact. They learn from us. Do we really want them thinking this is their future--motherhood and a boatload of stress? In our quest to be super mom, we are setting them up for a lifetime of pressure. We are their role models and the only way they will know how to parent will be through observing us.