Why I Am Putting Ads On Your Mom's Face

Sometimes the biggest and best ideas are right in front of our faces -- pun intended. Are you ready to have your mind blown? I am going to put ads on your mom’s face!

I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but follow my iron-clad logic here. How many times have you seen a chart like the one below: 

Why I Am Putting Ads On Your Mom's Face 

 or, these days, a chart like this one:

Why  I Am Putting Ads On Your Mom's Face

Well, following the logic that ad dollars should just be following eyeballs -- regardless of consumer receptivity or a medium relevant ad format -- I have done some back-of-the-envelope, totally made-up, but I am sure representationally accurate (maybe) calculations, and my findings below reveal a startlingly huge business opportunity!



 Why I Am  Putting Ads On Your Mom's Face 

From this graph alone, I think it should be obvious to anyone that this is a massive untapped market. That's why, upon completing my entirely made-up analysis, I immediately grabbed the domain (We’re seeking investors now. Leave a comment if you want in.)

Sure, I know what all you haters are saying out there. I can almost hear you now: “But Joe, I don’t want to look at ads when I am talking to a loved one,” or “I don’t think my grandmother wants to have ads on her face.”

And I totally get it! The whiny consumers out there are saying the same thing about their phones. And to this, we in the the advertising industry have a couple of easy answers:

--      Don’t worry! We will just make the the ads super-relevant -- I mean, they could even be additive.

--      Let’s face it, you have a couple of loved ones that might look a little better with a cool brand image on their foreheads.

--      If that one doesn’t convince you, there is also this one: Deal with it. If you don’t want ads on your mom’s face, maybe stop looking at her so much.

I'm sure there are some spoilsports out there who would really like to avoid their loved ones having face ads, no matter how relevant. I am prepared to offer those people an option to get out of this horrible intrusion. For a low monthly subscription fee, they can have the premium that will allow them to enjoy their loved ones’ faces without ads.

I guess what I am saying is that as long as we understand the consumer receptivity and  know the best format for a given sector of advertising, as well as are up for educating an entire industry on how to buy and plan a new medium, then I am golden. Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! This company is going to leave people saying “WhatsApp who?”

5 comments about "Why I Am Putting Ads On Your Mom's Face".
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  1. Pete Austin from Fresh Relevance, March 20, 2014 at 12:13 p.m.

    There's nothing new in marketing! "Johnson & Wales University students launched a Providence-based start-up, Headvertise, in late 2003. At its start, an employee of Headvertise could earn up to $150 per week for wearing a temporary logo tattoo on his or her forehead. It was last reported that 64 students had featured ads on their foreheads"

  2. Caroline McCarthy from true[x] Media, March 20, 2014 at 12:51 p.m.

    @Pete, don't forget the guy who auctioned off his forehead for ad space and legally changed his name to HostGator!

  3. Joe Marchese from true[X], March 20, 2014 at 4:33 p.m.

    Yes, but has anyone truly made it into a scalable platform? That is where the chart shows the opportunity!

  4. Nick D from ___, April 7, 2014 at 10:23 a.m.

    Amen brother! Those charts are the last resort of the lazy ad salesman, who can't explain why more dollars should, by default, flow to his medium.
    It works for all sorts of things. What proportion of consumers' aggregated time is spent looking at bathroom cubicle walls? How many ad dollars are spent there?

    Oh, and not enough "your mom" jokes. Much disappoint.

  5. Joe Marchese from true[X], April 7, 2014 at 5:10 p.m.

    @nick ha! Figured the the "your mom" jokes were best left as implied. My own mom reads my column to often :-)

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