• by March 7, 2005

THE MOST ELIGIBLE "BACHELOR" IN MEDIA - Assemble a group of media trade honchos, put them in front of a roomful of top media planners, and buyers and strange things inevitably will happen. Still we were surprised when, amid the high-pitched pitching, heavy-duty spin cycling, and banal banter that took place during last week's Four As' media conference panel, one media trade chief actually proposed marriage to another.

Asked whose seat they'd want to be in if they had to change places with one of their competitors, the Magazine Publishers of America's Nina Link demurred, confiding, "I wouldn't trade places with anyone, but I would marry Greg."

Greg, of course, was Greg Stuart, president of the Interactive Advertising Bureau, who responded to Link's offer by saying, "I really have no answer after that one. You know, I can't change, right?" Pressed, Stuart said he would change places with ABC sales chief Mike Shaw, because network TV is still the "big money" medium and because ABC is currently riding high.

Maybe it's because he used to be a syndication salesman, but Shaw said he'd trade places with Syndicated Network Television Association President Mitch Burg.

Burg, in turn, would trade places with Shaw, noting, "The No. 1 reason is Mike's smiling a lot more this year."

Shaw's job was also coveted by National Newspaper Network Chief Jason Klein, who explained, "I think if you're selling 'Desperate Housewives,' how hard can that be?"

The rest of the voting on the 10-person panel all went to the IAB's Stuart, including nods from the Outdoor Advertising Association of America's Stephen Freitas, the Yellow Pages Association's Neg Norton, the Radio Advertising Bureau's Gary Fries, and the Cabletelevision Advertising Bureau's Sean Cunningham, who for a moment also sounded like he might be propositioning the Internet ad chief.

"Greg, and not just because he's tall and handsome," explained Cunningham. "I have brands that are among the most popular destinations on the Internet. We're a cross-platform player, and I love the accountability of it." Could that mean that Cunningham will soon be changing his tune from a "one TV world" pitch to a "one screen world?" We wouldn't be surprised.

Finally, Television Advertising Bureau chief Chris Rohrs selected a trade head who wasn't even on the panel, but was hosting them all: Four As chief O. Burtch Drake.

And just in case you weren't keeping count, that's four votes for IAB's Stuart, three votes for ABC's Shaw, one vote for SNTA's Burg, and one abstention.

A GAGGLE OF GAGS - Breaking an advertising taboo is always good for generating some free publicity, but normally it's in the advertising trade or business press, not fodder for late night talk shows. When KSL Media purchased time for distilled spirits brand Grey Goose Vodka on CNN, it got both. Not only did the breaking of another ad barrier get picked up in the press, but it became the source of the "Top 10" list on the March 2 telecast of CBS' "Late Show with David Letterman" (see below).

Top 10 Other Changes At CNN
10. Wolf Blitzer changing name to Blitz Wolfer.
9. When covering a hard story, reporters ask, "What would Jack Daniels do?"
8. Every Sunday it's "WKRP in Cincinnati" marathons!
7. Reporters must make quotation marks with fingers when calling Bush "President."
6. They're putting Lou Dobbs on steroids.
5. Every night, one lucky viewer receives an on-air physical from Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
4. Last 10 minutes of newscast, anchors sing hits from the 70s, 80s, 90s and today.
3. Let's just say Paula Zahn is now Paul Zahn.
2. Changing name to CNNN.
1. Interactive feature allows viewers to administer painful electric shock to Larry King.