• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, October 13, 2016

According to ProPublica, The New York Times is among many sites that use software to evaluate different headlines for news articles. Two to five headlines are randomly shown to site visitors until the system can determine the most popular headline.

Says a Times senior editor, “We can tell which stories on the homepage are not meeting our expectations on readership, so we try to come up with alternatives for those headlines." The Times apparently tries to avoid one of the perils of optimizing headlines — “clickbait” headers that promise more than they deliver. “If we see a headline that we think is misleading to readers, we push back,” the Times said.

The story gave one example where a slightly different headline resulted in more than a 1,000% increase in readership.

Whenever Joe Mandese edits my column, he inevitably changes the headline I submitted because he's been writing headlines for about 2,000 years and knows better than I do what sells. And because I have absolutely no New York Times-style journalism ethics, I pretty much don't care how Joe tinkers with my headlines. It will be interesting to see if he changes the one I submitted with THIS column.

It must be a terrible temptation for editors, who increasingly are getting paid on the number of reads each story gets, to wordsmith to the lowest common denominator, which is typically where the money is.  But I don't need software to tell me what works best. Here are some real Times headlines — and below them, alternatives that I think would attract more eyeballs.

Some in G.O.P. Who Deserted Donald Trump Over Video Are Returning
Turns Out There IS No Shame Among Republicans

In City Built by Immigrants, Immigration Is the Defining Political Issue
We Got Ours, But You Can't Have Yours

Police Use Surveillance Tool to Scan Social Media, A.C.L.U. Says
If You Riot, Cops Will Eventually Find You

Do You Have a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Here’s What to Do
Why You Have to Stop Bashing Your Kids for Being Under The Apple Spell

Wells Fargo Chief Abruptly Steps Down
When the Light Finally Dawns on the Board of Directors

Cuomo Insider, Caught in Albany Corruption Case, Leaves Post at SUNY
Another Crooked Politician, Do You Even Care Who?

Fashion Becomes a Victim of Its Own Oversharing
You Can't Buy What You See on the Runway for Half a Year; Hopefully You Will Get Over It by Then

Now Hiring: Under de Blasio, New York’s Government Grows to Record Level
Civic Proof That Bigger is Not Better

Fed Minutes See Rate Rise ‘Relatively Soon’
Fed Dawdles While Investment Yields Drop to Zero

Donald Trump Faltering? Die-Hard Fans Refuse to Buy It
Proof That There IS a Sucker Born Every Minute