• by Barbara Lippert , Columnist, March 11, 2024

Some theorized that Kate’s head had been photoshopped from her appearance on a 2016 British Vogue cover.

Why should we care about Kate Middleton’s heavily tinkered-with family photo?

At this point, it shouldn’t “amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world,” as Humphrey Bogart said in “Casablanca.”

Of course, I feel terrible for Kate, for having undergone abdominal surgery with such a tough recovery period that she was held “in hospital” for two weeks. 

She has yet to make a real post-surgery appearance except for a shadowy photo taken of her riding in the passenger seat of a car with her mother at the wheel. Ditto for another more recent pic with William.

The woman obviously deserves to recover in privacy and peace.

Originally, the Palace announced that she’d resume her royal activities after Easter, and that’s just a few weeks away.

But in the interim, the internet has been teeming with conspiracy theaters about the Princess’ health, including that she lapsed into a coma after the surgery and had to be put on life support.

So, in the Palace’s bone-headed, antiquated way with PR, someone made a decision to release a Wales family photo this past Sunday for Mother’s Day, celebrated in March in Britain. 

The Palace had to have conceived of, or at least approved, the photo exposing very odd body language from the get-go: The open-mouthed and aggressively happy children’s heads up top seemed to contrast with the many oddly crossed appendages down below.

So many hands appeared in strange places on various “jumpers” that it was as if some of the fingers had come from tiny trick plastic party hands.

But considering how easy it is to use “Best Take” mode on your phone, and how hard it is to get a shot with all four people looking good, I didn’t think more about it.

By Sunday evening, however, the Associated Press and other photo news agencies had withdrawn it from global distribution, citing concerns about digital manipulation, which would cause them legal trouble.

And the botched PR response only got worse. By Monday morning, the Palace had thrown Kate under the bus, having her apologize for any “confusion” the photo might have caused. “Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing,” she posted on X, hoping that everyone enjoyed  a lovely Mother’s Day.

That embarrassing retraction and apology sent the online rumor mill into overdrive and meme-making, including one reproduction replacing Kate with Bernie Sanders and his famous mittens.

The photo itself, which would seem to be a combination of AI, photoshop, and truth avoidance, had at least 10 mistakes that were obvious. There were theories that Kate’s head had been photoshopped from her appearance on a 2016 British Vogue cover. Her face, hair and teeth did look particularly great, lit by another sun from the one her three outdoorsy children were experiencing.

I couldn’t get over that poor little Louis’ left hand was so mangled that he had a stump for a pointer finger and a flying digit for his middle finger.

What’s more, a perfectionist mom I know who often directs and choreographs her own three-child family photos said that the kids were “dressed in fall clothes, which didn’t make sense for the upcoming spring.”

Kate’s denimed legs, crossed in the chair she sat in, looked too short for her body, while her boots looked too big for her legs. Something about being seated in the chair reminded me of the long-ago visuals designed to cover up FDR’s challenges. 

The Palace originally maintained that the photo was taken by William this week, which belies the possibility of the abundant greenery in the background.

There’s a larger point to be made here: In an age saturated by self-made social media, everybody’s in on the tricks, and has a more discerning eye, which only adds to the mean gossip and inaccurate theories that circulate.

The response to public concern about Kate surely is not to send out a heavily manipulated official family image, set up to look like an informal snapshot. That's the stuff of the old Soviet Union. 

Kate’s in an impossible position, made worse by inept communications from her overlords. It’s not easy being a Windsor female at any time.  I wish her a complete recovery on her own time. And in the meantime, she need not apologize.