Commentary

The Greatest Pitch Of All Time

  • by , Op-Ed Contributor, January 6, 2025

It's the late 70s and British Rail is in big trouble. 

The staff is rude. The trains are old. And they definitely do not run on time. 

Newly appointed Chairman Sir Peter Parker calls an agency review, because, um,  isn't it always the agency's fault?

Saatchi & Saatchi, at the peak of their powers, was the incumbent.  All the hot shops are asked to pitch. Oh, and let's throw in one upstart shop just to round out the field. 

A dark horse agency called Allen Brady and Marsh gets the last invite.

Agency Chairman Peter Marsh, a former actor, brought a flamboyant, theatrical viewpoint to the agency business.  He decided to put on a little demonstration of the problem BR was facing.

Thus it was, when the British Rail clients turned up at ABM for the pitch, they immediately recoiled in horror.

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The reception area was a mess. And the receptionist had no idea who they were, or why they were there.

"How long do we have to wait?," the clients asked anxiously. To which the receptionist replied "dunno," as she kept on filing her nails.

Left waiting for what seemed like an eternity -- five, ten, 20 minutes -- the clients eventually got up to leave.

Just then, Mr. Marsh appeared. Looked straight at Sir Parker and exclaimed, "You've just seen what the public thinks of British Rail, now let's see what we can do to put it right."

Would/could this ever happen today? No.

There was a time, however, when agencies were not afraid. When they had real personalities, trumpeted by eponymous owners whose names were on the door.

Today, the great agency names have been reduced to letters. Or worse, fictitious names that mean nothing.

An agency is the sum of its culture. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And who creates that culture, and therefore represents the agency brand? The founders. 

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