• by Wayne Friedman , Staff Writer, February 15, 2008

The networks want to get the fat out of TV upfront activities.

NBC has been thinking along these lines for its program presentation -- but should it go further? ABC may have the right answer -- do the presentation, but probably cancel its post-presentation party event.

After getting an earful from the networks, the hope is to have out-of-town TV advertising executives scampering to the hotel gym -- not going to fancy-schmancy dinners.

Networks want to slim down program presentations and prime-time schedules (at least in terms of original programming) -- and, more important, foster nimbler media buying executives.

No teka maki, no jambalaya, no apple martinis.  The networks are like your new fitness instructors.

How will the upfront work without sweet alcoholic beverages and cheeky conversations?  With bench presses, pushups, diets, and crunches. Then there'll be the crunching of media numbers.

Networks have aired green theme programming and marketing. This is just an extension of that concept.  Parties are wasteful. Extra pilots are wasteful. Schmoozing is wasteful.

In return, TV marketers should press network ad chiefs about waste when it comes to advertising dollars -- especially those fictionally irrelevant "integration" fees.  And perhaps media buyers can question where the ROI is, and where that cool census-based online measurement data is when it comes to those Internet advertising deals for TV programming on network Web sites.

NBC should just hold one-on-one meetings -- in Starbucks.  Think small tables and modestly priced lattes.

CBS could hold its event at the McDonald's on West 57^th street -- just a few steps away from Carnegie Hall.  Burgers, no buns.

ABC could take us to those hot dog vendors outside of Lincoln Center. Just sauerkraut and a can of club soda.

Remember, if you have an upfront without a good spread, you'll have big-time media agencies at an advantage: They'll be weak and hungry.

But as soon as they get their strength back, you could lose millions.