Cowards that we be, we acquiesced. We could not afford to have our lifeline terminated.

The plunge into the http://id0toi-aol.com/billing-aol/sl/5002.html rabbit hole:

First Name

Last Name

Screen Name

Password

Confirmation of Password

Method of Payment:

Credit Card

Debit

Credit Card Information:

Number,

Expiration Date,

Special Code (CV)

Bank Name

Account number

(PIN) Personal IdentificationNumber.

Filled out all fields.

Clicked on Submit.

Error message popup: We cannot complete your request.

Try again. Same error message.

Indignation.

My wife closed all personal information screens.

I panicked.

My wife said "fleeting expletive" them.

Couldn't sleep. Cold sweats. Recurring nightmares: disconnection.

Snuck down to home office middle of the night.

Googled.

Phoned.

AOL Billing office closed.

Waited til dawn. Re-called.

Lied to AOL automated guide. "Yes, premium service."

Representative answers -- long winded, correctly articulated "English" response: "You have nothing to worry about. We, AOL, have spammed you."

A day later:

"AOL Member Satisfaction Survey

Date: Tues, 28 Apr 2009 7:18pm

From: aolfeedback@aol.com

To: mhoscar@aol.com

Dear mhoscar:

As you may recall, on Monday Apr 27 you contacted AOL. Our records show that Srikant, one of our customer Care Consultants, assisted you concerning a support issue. We continually strive to improve our customer service. One way we do this is by asking members like you for an evaluation of your most recent experience with AOL and the level of service we provided you. Please take the next few minutes to complete the survey located below.

Click here to take the survey.

Please respond within 7 days of the date this invitation was sent so we may provide timely feedback to the consultant who assisted you. After 7 days, this invitation will expire.

However, if the information in the first paragraph of this e-mail does not look familiar, it means we have sent you this e-mail in error, so please do not take the survey - and accept our apologies for the inconvenience.

If you have any questions or need additional Technical or Account Service help, please go to help.aol.com.

Thank you for your time - and choosing AOL.

Sincerely,

AOL Member Services"

Perhaps Buffalo Springfield said it best:

There is something happening here.

What it is isn't exactly clear.

There's a broadband Internet access service over there

Telling us we've got to beware

I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound

Everybody look it's AOL going down

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you're always afraid

You step out of line, and the provider will come and take your connection away

I think it's time we stop, children, demand our rights

Hopefully the Obama Administration will support our privacy fights

What's that sound

Everybody look it's AOL going down

There's battle lines being drawn

We're never right if the broadband provider's never wrong

People speaking their minds

Getting so much customer service resistance from behind

I think that it's time they stop, what's that sound

Everybody look it's AOL going down.