Commentary

The Mystery Of Formspring

steam/ears

Social media encapsulates different aspects of human nature -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- which seem to defy rational explanation. Case in point: Formspring, a relatively new social network that has spread, plague-like, among American youth. Launched in November 2009, it has quickly grown to about 14 million users per month.

Formspring's twisted appeal is based on curiosity stemming from adolescent insecurity: it allows members to pose questions which acquaintances answer anonymously, and with brutal honesty. For example: does my butt look fat? Who is talking about me behind my back? What are they saying? The answers can range from kind and helpful, to neutral, to cruel and malicious. Predictably, answers in the last category seem to predominate.

This bizarre network came to prominence after the suicide of 17-year-old Alexis Pilkington, a high school student in West Islip, Long Island, after she received a string of vicious messages on Formspring. Predictably, reports of bullying and cruelty have led to parents and teachers calling for some kind of ban on the site. This idea is a non-starter, of course, simply because it would be impossible to enforce. But it is also clearly misguided.

After all, however weird and savage Formspring may be, it's a voluntary activity: teens join the site and then post questions or solicit comments because they want to do so. No one is forcing them to sign up or participate, and they choose the questions. If they unleash a torrent of demoralizing abuse, it's because they asked for it -- and perhaps even relish the insults in that sadomasochistic, self-hating adolescent way.

Parents who want to prevent teens from using Formspring are totally off-base. The appropriate course of action, it seems to me, would be talking to their children about the site and pointing out, using reasoned arguments and commonsense, how completely useless and self-destructive it is. This conversation would inevitably expand from the site itself to the real problem of which it is merely a symptom: the unhealthy nature of adolescent social scenes, reminiscent of "Lord of the Flies."

I believe part of growing up is learning to transcend and even reject your social milieu when it is not a positive environment, even if in this results in emotional stress in the short term. One of the most liberating developments, in becoming a young adult, is the formation of a sense of self, accompanied by the revelation that it really doesn't matter what other people think about you. At this stage the individual will naturally lose interest in Formspring, or at least see it for what it is: a weird manifestation of the misdirected frustration and hostility which fills the sad, sad lives of these petty online assailants.

2 comments about "The Mystery Of Formspring".
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  1. Anne Rose from Catalogs.com, May 7, 2010 at 8:06 a.m.

    I have been watching my daughter's Formspring account for about a year. It's a virtual version of those "fly catcher" things we used circulate. If your kid is emotionally healthy and a normal teen, then Formspring is pretty harmless. It has a lifespan - the group of kids I know already are bored with it.

  2. Aarona Jordan from Channel One/Alloy, May 7, 2010 at 10:04 a.m.

    Thank you Erik! Your insight is not only informed but an intelligent viewpoint that avoids the knee-jerk emotional response of censorship.

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