Commentary

The 2010 NBC Prime Upfront Presentation: A Recap

  • by , Featured Contributor, May 18, 2010
Daybreak.

A distant dog barks.

A man awakes, drenched in a cold sweat.

"I had that dream again, Maw."

"Which one, Jeff dear? The 'Friends' reunion musical?"

"Not that one. The zombies were back. Edwards, Clooney and La Salle. Watterson. Belzer and Braugher. Hamlin. Dey. Dysart. Even Travanti. They were all moaning, 'Draaaama. Draaaaaaaama. Draaaaama...' Over and over. They just kept coming, right out of one old desk in the middle of that stage..."

"But you know it was just a dream, right? That's all over now."

A phone rings.

"Jeff, honey? Jimmy Smits is on the phone for you."

"Jimmy -- at this hour? How weird. Yeah, hi, Jim. What's up?"

"Ouuutlaaaaawwww..."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

At least that's how I imagine the nights leading up to the upfront have been going in the Gaspin household.

But right now, Jeff has an upfront to run, and they're on the clock at the Hilton Hotel -- because as Jack Donaghy, Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming, tells us via videotape, Radio City Music Hall is (big pause)... being painted. At least they don't have to split the time for the ballroom with the bar mitzvah. That's down the hall, Mr. Gaspin tells us. Although "officially" he tells us that he had his first upfront in that very building 20 years hence. I still think that it's because they have a particularly strong reputation for being a zombie-free facility.

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So Jeff wakes up and introduces Andrea Bromstad, president of the network's Primetime Entertainment Division, who speechifies about the investment to quality or something. Nobody's really noticing much, mostly because people are still wondering about that "will they or won't they?" question: Is NBC really skipping out on the bill for this event after all this?

NBC wants to prove its commitment to supportive, creative development. And they claim that they're our Eastern European hooker. I don't know, but that's really what they said. Also, "Parenthood" defines their brand. I'm not sure how that all works together, but I'm willing to see where they're going with this.

But most of all, NBC right now is about More. More colorful, mainly. Which is pretty much what you want from your peacocks who aspire to be Eastern European hookers.

So let's start up the week and see where NBC is going, shall we?

On MONDAY, they start up the week by ending the speculation -- "Chuck" comes back, the winner of the "Scrubs" Memorial "Save Our Show" Award. "Heroes," winner of the annual "S.O.L., Don't Let the Door Hit..." Award, gets buried in a kryptonite crypt, replaced by "The Event," a big-budget, big cast, big mystery drama. It received the most enthusiastic applause of the day -- as people begin to look around the prime-time bar, still smarting after being dumped by our six-season "Lost" relationship. We're looking for another pretty fling for some mysterious fun. We won't call it a rebound drama, because, according to one fellow upfront attendee, co-star Blair Underwood is "yummy."

FYI, let's mention now that you may be seeing the phrase "high octane" in reference to Monday from the NBC promo people about 75,000 times before September.

Jerry Bruckheimer's "Chase" (a high-energy series based upon a tough, blonde-haired U.S. marshal that's definitely NOT "In Plain Sight," since it's on network TV) closes the night at 10 -- although from the clips, it seems like NBC has tried to get enough adrenaline going that it will be impossible to get to sleep until roughly 8 p.m. TUESDAY, when "The Biggest Loser" hits the air again for two hours.

"Parenthood"comes back to define the NBC quality brand at 10 p.m.

On WEDNESDAY, NBC shows some love to "Undercovers," a "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"-like drama. They call the J.J. Abrams spy (surprise!) show "cool" and "sexy." Neither of these words was mentioned with either of the shows that follow on that night, "Law & Order: SVU" and "Law & Order: LA." The hometown New York crowd showed a bit of territorialism with their polite, golf-clap-like response. NBC wisely didn't linger on the new spinoff for a particularly long time.

The peacock slightly reshuffles its THURSDAY comedy deck, leading off with "Community" and "30 Rock," followed by "The Office" and "Outsourced," a fish-out-of-water program that shows the "lighter side" of working at a call center in India. I've got February as the "under" for the special Bollywood theme night.

The night finishes romantically, with an anthology show called "Love Bites," an hour of love/relationship-themed vignettes that have a loose connection to one another. Sort of mirroring the dynamic NBC has with its viewers, probably.

FRIDAY begins the slight roadbump to Sunday for NBC, as the network plans to air an underhyped combination of "School Pride" and "Who Do You Think You Are?" -- the less said about them, the better. Actually, that was NBC's philosophy, since they said less about them than I would've thought possible. A legally required "Dateline NBC" follows at nine. NBC closes their original scripted week with the Jimmy Smits-fronted "Outlaw," a drama about a tough blonde U.S. marshal who resigns from the Supreme Court to find love in the CIA, or to change the legal system by fighting for "the little guy." Whatever it might have been, it is certainly a relief to know it won't have anything to do with jaywalking. Probably -- he is fighting for the little guy, so who knows how misdemeanors fit into that paradigm?

But before we move to SUNDAY (because once again, SATURDAY ceases to exist on network prime time), NBC would like to talk about late night. The crowd would probably like them to talk about anything else. They're "very happy" with Jay right now, much like someone is "very happy" they don't have to have their wisdom teeth pulled twice.

Jimmy Fallon, the future "Tonight Show" Replacement Host 2.0 -- and this year's Emmy Awards host, which sends a small chill -- appears onstage to thank us (which is a big theme this week; we're so heroic) by showing that they can and do live ads on their show. He has an acoustic guitar, further solidifying his association with Adam Sandler in my own personal mind, and makes up awkward ad jingles on the spot to shouted-out clients' names. He stumbles with Zappos, being unable to find a rhyme. We hesitate to suggest something that starts with "cra..." - as we've already pushed past the unpleasant part of the late-night discussion.

Closing off the week, NBC airs "Sunday Night Football," a game they invented which draws in all of its viewers to see the network's production values. The fact that the NFL just happens to be an automatic audience draw is immaterial today, because the NBC football crew is throwing free footballs to the crowd. Bob Costas almost hit this seated receiver on a seam pattern, only he dropped the pass right into the defender in the aisle ahead of me. That's OK -- I might not have been able to catch the pass, anyway. I was busy doing what many players do during games: I was Twittering.

At least we know that NBC was serious when they said that they were investing heavily in development. They gave away twelve footballs!

NBC also has six more programs on the bench for when their exciting lineup needs some rest. Among those hoping for a starter to get injured or slump is Paul Reiser, a former NBC headliner who provides some added pop off the bench in his own based-on-his-life-and-name sitcom, "Friends with Benefits," a comedy that pretty much says it all, along with a similarly self-explanatory relationship sitcom called "Perfect Couples.

As for dramas, Harry's Law, the latest David E. Kelley production, starring Kathy Bates has a title right out of the 1970s, but a premise for today: a former corporate lawyer who opens a private "little guy" legal practice in a former shoe store. Naturally. Since it's a Kelley show, you can count on that probably being the only quirk.

"The Cape," a low-concept octane drama where a cop is framed for masterminding a terrorist plot, is presumed killed (because we see it on television, along with his wife and son), then goes underground as The Cape, a superhero do-gooder who needs to clear his name and give his son an inspirational hero until he can (safely) triumphantly return and give the show a ratings boost.

NBC President of Sales and Marketing Mike Parent comes out to tell us how excited he is. NBC is upscale (he must be reading off an old script), "Saturday Night Live" is legendary, digital is all-important (Comcast may have had some input)-- in fact, they're committed to packaging on-air and digital content, that's how important they all feel it is -- and women are a "key" social group. I may have to Facebook them.

Jeff Gaspin comes out to welcome us all to try the veal. He'd join us, but he's probably going to need some sleep.

Postscript: I don't know what to make of this, but Jeff Zucker didn't look particularly happy at the after-party. Maybe he was just mad he didn't get a football either.

3 comments about "The 2010 NBC Prime Upfront Presentation: A Recap ".
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  1. Janis Mccabe from jmod35, May 18, 2010 at 4:12 p.m.

    These people, not just NBC, seem to have misplaced their heads. I cannot believe Law & Order, Numbers and Ghost Whisperer are being cancelled. Are these the same big brains who took Providence off the air? The Gilmour Girls? Are these the morons who waste our time with those completely idiotic "reality" shows? What's this world coming to?

  2. Rob Frydlewicz from DentsuAegis, May 18, 2010 at 5:22 p.m.

    I'm not pleased, not pleased at all that "Parks & Rec" won't be returning until mid-season. (But great recap Don!)

  3. Paula Lynn from Who Else Unlimited, May 18, 2010 at 9:13 p.m.

    Flip flops anyone? Just rounding out the corner is Fall 2011.

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