• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, June 4, 2010

Halsey Minor apparently blew through the $100 million he got for selling his stake in Cnet.com -- and now, to pay off a $6.6 million debt to Sotheby's auction house, he has been ordered by a judge to cough up his cars, furs, gems, watches, the rugs on his floor and most amusingly, his video and audio equipment, except for one television and one radio receiver, and including stereo equipment, computers, PDAs, MP3 and similar players (all presumably highly rated by Cnet.)

Collection agents from ML Private Finance and Christie's International are also banging on Mr. Minor's door, as is California. In April, Mr. Minor and wife Shannon were listed by the California Franchise Tax Board as the state's top delinquent taxpayers. The Minors are listed as owing personal income taxes of $13,120,479.39 and as having made no payments.

How in the hell can you blow through one hundred million dollars? The NYT says Mr. Minor spent a fair amount of it on art and furniture and he apparently bollixed some real estate deals on the side. Still. $100 MILLION and nothing to show?

It often comes as no surprise when characters like Mike Tyson -- who was raised in poverty, weaned on drug deals and stickups and by his own admission surrounded himself with "blood suckers" like Don King -- lose millions upon millions. Countless ex-NFL and NBA players who made fortunes squandered them and live on the edge of poverty. Most of them came from dubious childhoods as well.

But Mr. Minor is a product of the exclusive Woodberry Forest (prep) School and the University of Virginia and landed a job at Merrill Lynch after graduation. His fortune was not made beating his opponents into submission (at least not inside a ring, on a gridiron or hardwood floor).

All of us who have been in the online business since the beginning have friends who cashed out with huge nest eggs. Most of them took the same hit we all did in the 2008-2009 market tank, but most of them still have a shitload of money left to provide for quality lives, top-notch educations and spectacular travels and retirement. Of course, most of them didn't rush and blow their fortunes on collecting art and houses either.

Having missed nearly every possible opportunity for a big payday from taking equity from clients, I am really having a hard time feeling sorry for the Minors. Had I been able to cash out with tens of millions of dollars, here are some things I would have done with it before I bought famous artwork:

Replace those torn screen doors; finally get a new set of tires for the SUV; hire somebody to weed my garden, write a massive check to the Red Cross; get an office chair that doesn't squeak; buy my wife a fur coat to replace the one stolen at a hotel 10 years ago; stop price-checking at Wal Mart and Costco; go through the Full Service line at the gas station; fly in the front of the bus for a change; get the dog washed once a month instead of once a year; stop nagging my kids about our cell phone bill; keep the AC on nonstop until September 30th; buy Newsweek for $5 (not this week's issue, the entire company); pave my street, since I may pass to the great beyond before the town does; tell the youngest to buy himself some new clothes and toss out all the hand-me-downs; ignore the prices and just pull into the next gas station regardless; stop having a fit each time I see the PPV line items on my cable bill; build something cool at UNC so my youngest two can get in there without having a 4.0 GPA and max SATs; and finally put a couple tens of millions in a tin can and bury it in the backyard.