Commentary

Neanderthals Were Not Good at Social Networking

Neanderthals’ bigger eyes and bodies meant they had less brain space to dedicate to social networking, which may explain why they died out and Homo sapiens conquered the planet, according to a new study. -- Agence France-Presse, March 12, 2013

 

OccipitalPunny: I don’t get it.

 

NeanderYall: Don’t get what?

 

OccipitalPunny: Why the humans don’t follow me back when I follow them.

 

NeanderYall: Oh not this again.

 

OccipitalPunny: I like all their posts and re-tweet everything but they don’t follow me back. It’s like I’m not good enough or something. Like they are so smart and we’re not.

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NeanderYall: Um maybe they are? Did you see the Prezi with their new cave art? And their new totems are awesome.

 

OccipitalPunny: Whatever, we basically had the same totems five years ago. They just didn’t catch on because the market wasn’t ready.

 

NeanderYall: Uh yeah that and also the craftsmanship was maybe not so great.  I mean you remember the Earth Mother figurine fiasco.

 

OccipitalPunny: Ugh don’t remind me. What a disaster!

 

NeanderYall: LOL I swear the gods are still angry with us.

 

OccipitalPunny: Ha yeah probably.

 

NeanderYall: And their collaborative hunting app is honestly pretty cool. I just wish they would release it on our operating system.

 

OccipitalPunny: It’s cool but the whole Ambush feature is not fair to the mammoths.  What about market equilibrium? It’s like they are trying to squeeze them out.

 

 

OccipitalPunny: Anyway I’m still mad at the humans.

 

NeanderYall: I know. They are so full of themselves. Just because their tools are, like, way better than ours? 

 

OccipitalPunny:  Dude, our tools aren’t that bad. They get the job done!

 

NeanderYall: Totally. I will put our hide scraper up against theirs any day of the week.

 

OccipitalPunny: You know what I think is, I think the hide scraper is a sleeper product. In a couple years it will be standard. I’m telling you today.

 

NeanderYall: Maybe. But I gotta say I heard really good things about the new iAxe 5.

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