“According to a new study, freshmen women spend nearly half their day -- 12 hours -- engaged in some form of media use, particularly texting, music, the Internet and social networking.” – ScienceDaily.com, April 11, 2013
A Typical Day, by SoCalSocialGirl, ‘16
8 a.m.- 8:30 a.m. Wake up. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. on way to gym. Post details of last night’s festivities, to extent remembered.
8:30 a.m.-9 a.m. Gym, listen to music, Kardashian podcast on iPod.
9:00-9:15 a.m. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. on way to breakfast. Post details of Kardashian podcast.
9:15-9:45 a.m. Breakfast with the girls in the dining hall. We discuss coursework, critique college hookup culture, make fun of music videos on the table video screen.
9:45-10 a.m. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. on way to class. Post latest hookup gossip, best comments mocking music videos, question about coursework (when is English essay due?).
10:00-11:35 a.m. Media class. We are learning about the golden age of television. Watched an episode of “I Love Lucy,” hilarious.
11:35-11:45 a.m. Bus across campus. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. Pour out admiration for Lucille Ball on Tumblr. OMG SHE IS SO FUNNY.
11:45-12:00 a.m. The bus totally stops for no reason at all. Share feelings of frustration on Twitter, everyone else is like “OMG totes the buses are so f-ed but what can you do?” True.
12:00-1:00 p.m. Visit library to do research for English essay. I am writing about old newspapers the library only has on microfilm. I can’t believe these aren’t digitized! Tweet suggestion to library Twitter account.
1:00-2:00 p.m. A leisurely lunch: chicken bernais with a nice bottle of claret. JK! Had a bagel at the dining hall. Alarmed by an angry tweet from some girl about last night’s gossip. Oops. I knew I shouldn’t have posted that.
2:00-3:35 p.m. English class. OMG hot professor Jim Slade, yes that is his real name. He is actually a genius, which just makes him hotter. I email my friends to rave about him – no need to make that public.
3:35-3:45 p.m. OMG one of my friends posted part of my email on Facebook: “LOL true, Prof. Slade is so hot!” WTF WTF WTF! You weren’t supposed to post that!
3:45-3:55 p.m. Confront my friend about the Facebook post: “You couldn’t ask me if it was okay? I was sitting right next to you! WTF, etc. etc.”
3:55-4:15 p.m. Drown my sorrows in a latte. Check Facebook and Twitter compulsively to see if my stupid comment is getting traction. So far, no takers. Good, maybe everyone will just forget about it.
4:15-4:20 p.m. No, wait, the angry chick saw it and Tweeted it with this helpful explanation: “This girl talks sh*t about me, but she is such a slut! Look what she posted about her English prof. ewww” Great.
4:20-4:30 p.m. Girlfriends to the rescue! Post eye-rolling comments attesting my virtue.
4:30-4:45 p.m. Angry chick tries to rally support from her Twitter followers, but nobody cares. She goes away… for now.
4:45-5 p.m. Bus ride to dorm. Watch local news report about stray dog who rescued this little kid! OMG CUTE. I find video on YouTube, share with friends.
500-5:15 p.m. Snapchat photo from romantic interest Mr. X. Nice! Text back compliment.
5:15-7:00 p.m. Homework. Textbooks are so heavy. Listen to classical music so I can think.
7:00-8:00 p.m. Dinner. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. Library tweets back they are going to digitize the newspapers when they have money. Should I start a Kickstarter thing to raise money to do that? OMG what if I raised money for the library! Wouldn’t everyone think I was, like, awesome?
8-8:15 p.m. A parting shot from angry chick. Best friend sends back a parting shot for me. That’s the end of that (hopefully).
8:15-8:45 p.m. A goodnight skype from romantic interest Mr. X. Sweet. He directs me to his Tumblr account to see his latest art, and YouTube for a guitar video. Dreamy.
8:45-11 p.m. Lucille Ball binge on Netflix. LOL the whole time.
11 p.m. Bedtime. Check Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, Pheed, Path, etc. Dream of electric sheep.