I was reading one of those self-funded "studies" (which, SURPRISE, revealed findings that benefited those who paid for the study) that said "health food, coffee and hospitality brands advertising ...
had a big impact on the detail-oriented left-side of the brain. However, ecommerce and consumer electronics brands resonated with the right side of the brain."
Now, I know that
one side of the brain is verbal and analytical and the other is nonverbal and intuitive. One of them is supposed to house creativity more than the other, but I forget which is which. So I am not sure
how I am supposed to react to these stunning findings about which ad categories affect which half of my brain.
Since I don't drink coffee and my idea of health food is pizza without the extra
cheese, does that mean those ads still rattle around my left brain?
And I don't even know what a "hospitality brand" is. Is it like those pineapples Southerners put on their front door
knockers that are said to indicate the inhabitants are hospitable? Even to Trump canvassers (not too soon to start thinking about reelection, it appears) and Mormon missionaries? Moreover, what
if these landed in the right side of my brain? Will I start limping or shuddering uncontrollably? Will I suddenly start liking kale and Jack Black movies? This is really worrying me, although I am not
sure which side of my brain is concerned.
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According to the study, ecommerce and consumer electronics brands resonated with the right side of my brain. Now, you hear really hip,
self-important people toss "right brain" around all the time, especially after the fourth bottle of wine has been cracked at dinner parties. It’s code, I guess, for creative, curious and
intuitive, which I think describes about 99% of the people in the ad industry (although I know a few who are about as intuitive as a pillar of salt — note right-brain biblical reference).
So why would ecommerce and consumer electronics brands — which often create the most mundane of ads, where the picture or video contributes little and the cost, dimensions and warranty play
outsized roles — appeal to my "creative" side? The most creative thing I do with electronics is to try to get the floor guy at Best Buy to understand that yes, indeed, the price match I am
holding on my phone is the identical model as the one he is asking $75 more for.
Although when I show up at the front door with a big new flat screen, the words of surprise could only come
from my wife's right brain, because she is digging deep for euphemisms for "useless twit."
I wonder if my right brain and left brain get along. I mean, does the right side call the left side a
nerd and give it wedgies when it thinks I am not looking? Does the left brain dress in Goth and accuse the right side of being a privileged white guy?
I guess only a self-funded study will
help.