• by Adam Buckman , Featured Columnist, August 4, 2017

The headline above is composed in the form of a very provocative question.

Here then is the answer: No, it probably cannot happen. Thank you for reading the rest of this blog post, anyway.

It's the annual tradition that has become a yearly custom: Another “Sharknado” movie and another “Sharknado” column.

This summer's entry in the movie series is “Sharknado 5,” subtitled “Global Swarming.” It premieres this coming Sunday night on Syfy.

This new one has sharknados – formerly a phenomenon confined only to the United States -- breaking out all over the world, starting in London (where it becomes the top news story on the fictional “Good Morning Britain” TV show, photo above).

To my knowledge, no real sharknados have ever been recorded anywhere. However, Syfy still persists in continuing this series of sharknado movies.

In case you didn't know, a sharknado is a severe storm system featuring a massive, swirling funnel cloud forming over an ocean that is so strong that it is capable of sucking up scores of man-eating sharks and then transporting them over land.

As the system weakens, the sharks then fall to the ground where they wreak havoc on humans – snapping off limbs and heads or, while still “in flight” from the sky, plunging deep into human torsos.

I’m no expert, but portions of this new “Sharknado” movie -- as with its four predecessors -- seem implausible to me.

Despite these doubts, “Sharknado 5” emerges as a swirling funnel cloud of fine summertime entertainment. 

This movie is so entertaining -- and upholds and improves upon the values and standards of the first four “Sharknado” movies – that I will venture the opinion that this series is the best series of shark movies ever produced.

You hear that, “Jaws”? Let the record show that the original “Jaws” is peerless in the shark-movie canon. But its three sequels cannot hold a candle to the “Sharknado” movies, two through five.

In this new one, Ian Ziering and Tara Reid are back as sharknado warriors Fin and April. In their far-flung battle against this global sharknado outbreak, they come across a series of unpredictable guest-stars, most of whom die by the most grisly means possible.

The variety of famous (and not-so-famous) faces is breathtaking. Abby Lee Miller of Lifetime's “Dance Moms” – currently serving a prison term for bankruptcy fraud – turns up suddenly to give the shark fighters some timely advice. 

Charo plays Queen Elizabeth. Chris Kattan plays the prime minister, who keeps a stiff upper lip even after a shark removes part of his leg. Geraldo Rivera turns up as a mad inventor. At one point, he even dramatically opens a vault and finds nothing there.

Olivia Newton-John plays a plastic surgeon and original “Star Trek” star Nichelle Nichols even shows up playing the chairperson of a blue-ribbon committee of scientists and government officials seeking a strategy for fighting this global, lethal phenomenon.

The thing I really admire about this fifth “Sharknado” movie is the sense of commitment on the part of everyone involved in its production, both on-screen and off.

Everyone knows it’s one big, long joke but no one lets up – not the recurring cast, not the guest-stars and not, presumably, all the people working behind the scenes.

So far, “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” is the TV highlight of my summer. Some cynics who read that might say that’s not saying much. But I beg to differ. “Sharknado 5” is great TV – in summertime or anytime, pure and simple.

 “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” premieres Sunday night (August 6) at 8 Eastern on Syfy.