• by Mark Bachmann , Op-Ed Contributor, April 29, 2022

National Foster Care Day is approaching. On May 3, 2022, the U.S. will celebrate the Herculean efforts of foster parents and the system that makes foster care possible. It’s something I plan to recognize as the lessons I learned in my Ohio home filled with a dozen biological children and a dozen more foster siblings over the years helped shape the man and business leader I am today. 

It’s easy to be a critic. Sure, there are lots of flaws in the foster-care system. Too many kids age out of adoption and might not be ready for the real-world when released into it upon turning 18. But there’s so much right. I know. I’ve lived it. 

As the third of 12 biological kids, you consider it a win when someone remembers your name. It’s also a win when the group collectively works in unison so all individual needs are met. That takes a lot of organizational planning and my parents co-led our home with love, authority, and affection. We didn’t exactly live in a democracy but it wasn’t authoritarian rule either. My parents knew they needed us older kids especially when the youngest arrived with special needs. As a result of my sister’s Down Syndrome, my parents decided to welcome a dozen children (many with special needs) into our home during my youth. To say our kitchen was action packed would be an understatement. It wasn’t always easy but it was typically fun. When it wasn’t, we worked to collectively fix it because who wants to show up every day and give their all when they’re not happy? No one. 

The toolbox I assembled to fix immediate and complex challenges during my youth has continued to grow and serve me well as an adult and business leader. Among the many lessons I learned that I tap into daily revolve around personal space, collaboration, and guardianship. 

• Property rights and personal space are things you often forgo when raised with dozens of siblings. But individual expression is always welcome and appreciated. As long as delivered in respectful ways even naysayers can hear. Collaboration and cohesiveness are essential for the tribe to survive and thrive.
• Leadership, like caregiving, has a myriad of messy and beautiful moments. They all matter and ladder up to a unique ecosystem that delivers for the tribe. Not so different from the unique personalities that comprise agency life. Tempers and talents can flare and shine. Finding ways to leverage ideas big and small for community good is the Holy Grail. Everyone needs to be heard and valued so they all give all they’ve got while celebrating the highs and teaming to combat lows.
• Remember you might think you have all the tools you need to combat all situations. But recognizing when you don’t and raising your hand to ask for help and seek additional solutions is a sign of immense strength. Sometimes you have to shake things up before you can settle them down and ensure the course is better set for the future. 

To say I faced some seemingly impossible challenges is an understatement. After all, every meal in the house was a production. Mom or one of us kids would start cooking at 4 p.m. to feed our familial army. When things got frenetic, which they often did as Mom had five kids under the age of 5, we often had to do things on our own. Like the time one of the babies was so fussy my brother had to walk to kindergarten himself with his birth certificate and register himself for school. Yes, independence came early. Mom encouraged it. She was the most supportive matriarch, always finding time to pause and do a puzzle when we needed her. 

Sure, she made me sit at the dinner table well past bedtime one night until I got close to finishing my peas. Those three hours left an indelible imprint. So did not starting my homework until after 9 p.m. when it was my turn for dish night. Very much among the reasons why our company is big into sustainability, social-good, and DE&I. 

Sometimes when you fall down a laundry chute you just have to get back up, thanking your lucky stars for landing on a big pile of clothes. 

Talk about important lessons that helped set the foundation for my professional leadership style. Sometimes you find a missing sibling after the family alarm sounds in a neighborhood church in the middle of a service. You’ve got to be well-versed in asking tough questions, making sure you are strong enough to be vulnerable to answer those asked of you, and create individual and community value. Humanity is paramount as is being open to the wonders and lessons conveyed by the juniors in your midst. Especially the differently abled. And you’ve got to be fully engaged. Mom might have abandoned household chores to teach us the finer points of coloring, but the mess was not a bad trade for a present and entertaining parent. 

Lessons to live by, indeed. Here’s to foster kids and their families today and every day.