• by February 3, 2006

LIFE IN A SUPER BOWL -- We don't know about you, but we can't wait until Stupor Monday. Not because we'll have the day off due to a new federal holiday some are championing for--National Super Hangover Day--but because we've just about had it with all the hype surrounding the Superlative Bowl.

It's time to move on, and begin hyping something else. Like the Olympics.

Then the Oscars. Then the pre-upfront. Then the upfront--the first ever to be transacted over eBay, mind you. And on and on and on until we are once again spinning the Super Bowl. Is it just us, or does it seem like the Super Bowl gets more stupendous every year. So big this year, in fact, that it actually stepped on a genuine national holiday: Groundhog Day. But who would've known, with Pittsburgh steeling all the thunder from Punxsutawney.

Did Phil see his shadow? Is winter over? Did we ever even have one? Must be all that global warming. And our national addiction to gasoline. Thanks to President Bush, we are aware of that now. And we're relieved to hear he's exploring new technologies to wean us off the petroleum teat. But we've got an idea that's bound to save a few hydrocarbons, and generate enough kilowatts to light up a football stadium at least once a year. If we could only find a way to harness all that energy--something to do with the capture of billions of cubic tons of naturally produced, Buffalo wing and nacho-induced methane. We'd explain in detail, but our attorneys say we have to wait, because we still have our flatulent pending.

But sometime midway through our third viewing of Showtime's "Groundhog Day" marathon yesterday, it struck us that the Super Bowl is a lot like that movie. We keep reliving the same day over and over and over again until we can get it perfect. Oddly, that perfect day was on Jan. 12, 1969 when Joe Namath hurtled enough bombs to topple Johnny Unitas' Baltimore Colts, surprising a nation, putting the New York Jets on the map, and landing himself in a pair of panty hose. And enough TV commercials to, well, fill a Super Bowl. Ever since, the Big Game has been a big game of hype, and marketing and, most importantly, commercials.

FOR SOME, IT IS SIMPLY A STUPID BOWL -- That's what you have to come away thinking after reading a report released today by the super bowlers at Carat Insight. The report, "'XL' Reach For The Super Bowl Advertisers," is the second annual edition of a study that disproves the logic of the Big Game as an advertising vehicle for many of its advertisers. Unlike many Super Bowl studies that simply look at the raw audience reach among viewers who watch the Super Bowl, Carat tackles what kinds of consumers the Super Bowl ads are actually reaching. As it turns out, some of those advertisers would be better off pocketing the $2.5 million per 30-second ad unit.

"Although advertisers may all pay the same price to air their ads, some brands have customers who are more likely to tune in to the game than others," writes Carat insighter Rob Frydlewicz, author of the report, who after analyzing a trove of MRI data, came to the conclusion that some advertisers might be better off spending their Super Bowl ad budgets on Buffalo Wings and nachos. Well, Frydlewicz didn't actually say it that way, but we know that's what he meant. What he actually said was, "Although some brands advertising in Sunday's game don't have customers who have as strong a propensity as other brands to view the game, their decision to purchase a spot in the game shouldn't be considered a costly blunder."

The reason, he notes, is the same we elucidated above: PR, hype, spin, buzz.

In other words: a lot of free media. Plus, it's not such a bad media buy on face value, even for the lowest indexing brands, including packaged goods brands like Procter & Gamble's Dove and Unilever's Degree, which would do just as well to buy other TV shows to reach their target audiences as the Super Bowl.

That said, Frydlewicz notes there is some attendant value for these brands in the Big Game: "Even if some brands reach smaller portions of their customers than others, the large number of non-users reached (referred to by marketers as an 'opportunity' market) may be motivated to sample these brands."