On the bright side, Joe Biden disproved
the right-wing conspiracy theory rumor mill that he would be hopped up on drugs.
But as "The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart summed up, "Let me just say after watching tonight's debate, both of
these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs. As much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow."
Aside from providing material for what might be Stewart's
best show yet this season (see below), the performance of the two candidates was little more than fodder for late night punchlines, MAGA glee and free world angst, as the real-time post analysis
wasn't just that Biden stumbled as Trump bumbled lie after lie after lie, with zero fact-checking, but at least that was expected.
In terms of performative pugilistic points, Donald Trump won
by simply being his normal Trumpy self (who are you going to believe, me or your own lying eyes and ears?). And no matter what the spin room says, Biden lost us the minute he opened his mouth and
said, "It's great to be here, thank you."
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If no other reason, but his voice -- which his campaign team attributed to a cold -- but also his stumbles, botched rebuttals, and in many responses,
what appeared to be cognitive fritzing. Like the his meandering digressive -- long pause -- final answer to a simple question about the pandemic: "We beat Medicare."
Ever since the first
Kennedy - Nixon televised debate, America has known that these TV shows are about style, not substance.
Because if it was about substantive performance, Trump would have contributed to his own
self-inflicted TKO, spewing his own jumble of lies, misinformation and mashups of reality, not to mention his failure to answer simple questions, especially whether he would accept the results of the
next election.
Overall, Trump's performance was a blend of his American carnage speech, a prototypical MAGA rally, and one of his WWE wrestling stunts.
In a normal post-debate
analysis, his "I never had sex with a porn star" would have been the hot take. Though personally, I don't know how any commentators so far haven't referenced his use of the whistle-blowing moniker
Brandon he used to refer to Biden at one point.
Yes, Biden lost the first presidential debate bout -- the "Rumble in the Bumble" -- and who knows if there will actually be a round two.
Democratic pundits already were grousing about "panic," a call for a new candidate, an "open convention," etc.
But if you ask me who the biggest loser was, it was CNN.
Understanding
that hosting a modern day presidential debate -- especially one involving Trump -- is an unenviable task, CNN promoted the hell out of it, including the case that it had established rock-solid ground
rules that would surely keep it "presidential."
The moderators failed to fact check any of Trump's incessant lies in real-time, although the network eventually telecast a round-up of Trump's
lies, a little too late for most American viewers.
As for one of the oddest parts of the CNN format -- the two, two-minute commercial breaks -- I believe "The Daily Show's" Stewart also
characterized its function best, and most honestly.
"An ad break to watch a Hulu show is three minutes," Stewart quipped, "What can you do in two minutes?"
For me, it was getting
another drink.