• by Adam Buckman , Featured Columnist, 3 hours ago

A couple of commandments are in order for watching “The Ten Commandments” this weekend on ABC.

Why just a couple? Because I could not come up with 10, for I am not the Lord thy God, who gave unto Charlton Heston the tablets inscribed with the original Ten Commandments in the greatest movie of the 20th century, “The Ten Commandments.” 

On Saturday night, ABC once again fulfills its covenant with the rest of us by airing “The Ten Commandments” for the 52nd time since 1973.* 

ABC traditionally airs this 1956 movie masterpiece during the Passover-Easter holiday season, although its story has nothing to do with Easter.**

Instead, the movie’s story from the Old Testament’s book of Exodus is the very underpinning of the eight-day Jewish holiday of Passover, which started Wednesday night.

The night of the movie’s annual airing is different from all other nights because no other movie -- especially a vintage movie such as “The Ten Commandments” -- commands more air time on network television today.

Saturday night on ABC, “The Ten Commandments” will run for four hours and 45 minutes, starting at 7 p.m. Eastern and wrapping up at a quarter to 12.

For those who are mathematically inclined, that’s a total of 285 minutes. The running time of the original movie is 220 minutes.

So, to get into the “Ten Commandments” spirit, here are a few commandments inscribed by the TV Blog on a MacBook Air.

Thou shalt not deride the movie’s now-legendary, over-the-top performances, starting with Charlton Heston’s.

None of the cast of “The Ten Commandments” were nominated for Oscars, but their performances are among the most unforgettable in movie history, even if some people find them laughably exaggerated. News flash: That is their best trait.

Nobody who has ever sat through ABC’s nearly five-hour presentation of “The Ten Commandments” will ever forget the spectacle of the wild-eyed Heston (above photo), in the role of Moses, coming down from Mount Sinai after receiving the holy tablets from the very hands of God.

Or Anne Baxter as the Egyptian queen Nefretiri pining after Moses (“MO-ses! MO-ses!”). Or Yul Brynner as Rameses II giving orders followed by his immortal catchphrase “So let it be written, so let it be done!”

Thou shalt not disparage the movie’s awesome special effects. One of the joys of watching “The Ten Commandments” is having the opportunity to experience its legendary animated, special-effects, which are sometimes dismissed by some as primitive.

Primitive? On the contrary, few special-effects sequences in the history of movies can compare to the epic parting of the Red Sea, or the descent of the 12 plagues, or the Burning Bush from which Moses hears the voice of God. Anyone who has never seen these spectacles is commanded to watch on Saturday.

Fun fact: “The Ten Commandments” was nominated for seven Oscars and won one of them: Best Special Effects.

Thou shalt disregard the fact that only one of the movie’s Jewish characters is played by a Jew. That’s a present-day social construct -- that only members of ethnic or religious groups may play members of those groups.

Of the major stars in “The Ten Commandments,” only one -- Edward G. Robinson (in the role of the Israelite Dathan) -- was Jewish. Heston wasn’t Jewish, but he will be forever associated with Moses. Should anybody care? No.

Thou shalt not touch the remote or otherwise graze anywhere else during the movie’s entire run.  The best way to watch “The Ten Commandments” on ABC is to stick with it from beginning to end. The TV Blog commands you.

*For reasons unknown, the movie did not air in 1999, but the TV Blog’s theory is that the powers that be who ran ABC at the time had temporarily lost their minds.

**The Passover and Easter stories intersect at the Last Supper of Jesus and his disciples, which scholars believe was likely a Passover meal. But it is not a part of the “Ten Commandments” movie. The Last Supper is traditionally commemorated by Christians on Holy Thursday, which is today.