Forget that time you got burned by your Slip 'n
Slide as a kid, because if Pepsi's SoBe Life Water is to be believed, we're headed for an even bigger water crisis. We're not talking about the United Nations' estimate that 1.1 billion people lack
access to safe drinking water. Rather, we mean the struggles that beverage conglomerates face in getting the Average Joe to buy bottled water. (As the press release put it, we are indeed living "in a
time of the ever-escalating hydration wars.")
To attract consumers to SoBe Life Water over that pesky Vitaminwater by Glacéau, Pepsi broke out the big guns: cuddly lizards (apparently
conditioned by scientists to immaculately perform the choreography from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video). The SoBe Lizards, which the release tells are "the brainchild of Peter Arnell," made their
debut in the "Thrillicious" commercial that aired during the Super Bowl (watched by about 97.5 million people, per Nielsen), and SoBe says the online video of the commercial got about 5 million views.
No word as yet on Naomi Campbell's compensation for dancing with CGI critters.
The lizards - which the release touts as "irresistibly hip, rebellious and rhythmic" - will now serve as the
focal point of the new SoBe campaign, and their lean dancers' bodies will be splashed across Times Square and other major outdoor markets.
As far as hydration wars go, this unchecked
aggression will not stand. In retaliation, we've been reliably informed that Vitaminwater has roped in Kevin Costner's character from
Waterworld (who you may recall drinks his own urine) to
up the stakes even further.