• by Wayne Friedman , Staff Writer, August 6, 2008

News flash: People who aren't married are having sex on broadcast television programs.  News flash: Broadcast TV ratings are down. Conclusion: TV viewers think sex outside marriage is boring.

According to a so-called major parental TV group, the broadcast networks show way more sex among people who aren't married than people who are married, and the networks no longer adhere to "a voluntary code of conduct which stipulated that respect should be maintained for the sanctity of marriage and the value of the home."

But adding in the significant drop in broadcast ratings, there is only one conclusion that should be drawn by that parental group: No matter what kind of sex you are having, it can be boring.  It's the new TV moral math: more sex, lower ratings.

In that light, perhaps another survey should be offered, one where a correlation between married sexual content yields higher TV ratings. That would get TV viewers' and executives' attention.

If certain TV groups worry about sex on TV, perhaps they should extend this unease to all questionable TV content that shouldn't be seen or suggested: birth, violence, death, illness, natural disaster, rape, war, and Johnny Knoxville stunts. Throw in crushing tackles during NFL games and BMX cyclists skidding on tarmac shredding skin. Boring, boring, boring.

National TV advertisers, I guess, support this tedious content. Advertisers, therefore, are financiers of dull TV.

But I dare say you could find some married sexual content on family-program-oriented networks. Perhaps Hallmark Channel, Nick at Nite, or small local TV stations that run older '60s or '70s sitcoms or dramas.

How about adding some analysis of sex on all of TV?  Rumor has it some viewers have migrated to cable in recent years. (Yes, really!) Younger TV viewers and parents probably distinguish less among cable, syndicated, local and network programming.

Would there be different results? Probably not. But at least I could take the survey a bit more seriously. In any event, I wouldn't be bored .