Commentary
They Wanna Play In The Big Leagues, But They Don't Have The Control
- by Bob Garfield , Featured Columnist, March 25, 2013
It’s that time again! In honor of the new baseball season, here is another edition of Wild Pitches, the semiannual feature featuring publicists and other corporate communicators who probably have flesh and blood, but nonetheless behave like mindless bots clogging the inboxes of journalists the world over.
The theory is, if PR is a part of marketing, and you’re sending pitches at marketing publications, you should probably try not to suck at it. Because that’s bad…whaddya call it... marketing. This is a shaming exercise, so names have not been changed to protect the guilty. Recalling that I write on one subject -- trends and developments in marketing and media -- please sit back and enjoy the current harvest. I know I did.
From: Tyler Steben, Deque Systems
DEQUE SYSTEMS ACHIEVES CMMI LEVEL 2 STATUS FOR DEVELOPMENT AND SERVICES
Herndon, VA - March 21, 2013 - Deque Systems today announced that it has been appraised at Level 2 of the CMMI Institute’s Capability Maturity Model Integration (CMMI) for both the development (CMMI –DEV 1.3) and services (CMMI – SVC 1.3) constellations.
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Reply: Holler when you get to CMMI-SVC1.4. We’ll tear up page one.—B.G.
From: Piotr Baziuk. ACI
LYON TO HOST THE WORLD ELASTOMER SUMMIT 2013
ACI's World Elastomer Summit 2013 will provide in depth analysis of today fundamental shift of global C4 olefins and elastomers markets. Globally, trade patterns for butadiene and related products will continue to shift as production of end-use products relocate to developing countries, mainly to China.
Reply: Sorry, we blew our travel budget on Elastomers Asia 2013. See you at Elastomermania!—B.G.
From: Angel Waldron, Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America
ASTHMA AND ALLERGY FOUNDATION ELECTS NEW BOARD CHAIR
March 6, 2013 (Landover, MD) – The Asthma and
Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) announces Lynn Hanessian, as the new Chair of their National Board of Directors. In her position Hanessian will be responsible for leading the strategic direction
for the 60-year-old nonprofit patient organization. She has already served on AAFA’s Board for 6 years and has experience as a healthcare communications professional, being involved in asthma
and allergy programs for more than 25 years.
Reply: Sorry, Angel, left my gig at Inhaler Age last year.—B.G.
From: Alison Beckwith, OFM Inc.
NEWS ALERT: OFM OFFICE AND SCHOOL FURNITURE NOW AVAILABLE FOR DIRECT PURCHASE ONLINE THROUGH DEALER NETWORK
HOLLY SPRINGS, N.C.. – OFM, a leading office and school furniture manufacturer, distributor and wholesaler, announced today that the general public will now be able to purchase its furniture directly from its website utilizing its dealer network. This new initiative was developed in partnership with Shopatron, an online retail solutions provider for manufacturing brands.
Reply: Thank you for the alert. I might have missed this because of my foolish interest in items of interest. Look for a special office-furniture issue on the subject forthwith.—B.G.
From: Ed McMasters, Flottman Co.
FLOTTMAN COMPANY’S ED MCMASTERS TO RECEIVE THE SPIRIT OF CINCINNATI USA AWARD
The Flottman Company is proud to announce that Ed McMasters, Director of Marketing and Communications, is being honored with the Spirit of Cincinnati USA Award for his volunteer efforts during the 2012 World Choir Games.
Reply: Congratulations, Ed. You are an inspiration not only to Cincinnatians and Flottmaners, but to all press releasers of the world. As I write this, I wipe a tear from my eye. – B.G
Bob Garfield, former editor at large for MediaPost, is a long-time public radio personality who currently hosts Booksmart Studios' "Bully Pulpit" podcast. A 30-plus-year commentator on media and marketing, he is co-host of public radio's Peabody Award-winning “On the Media” program; senior fellow at Wharton Future of Advertising Program, SEI Center for Advanced Studies in Management; founder of the Media Future Summit and author of five books.
These are classics. Unfortunately I'm sure you didn't have to look too far to find these. The amassed weight of the paper on which they could be printed could be used as effective ballast in several industrial applications. It would almost be refreshing to have someone write: "Look, this isn't really news of any kind, but if I don't get the boss some publicity on this nothing announcement, I could lose my job. Please help." That would almost be honest enough to act on.
I guess it's easy to mock business to business releases in very specialized verticals (Elastomers! What a maroon!) but those releases might be meaningful to their intended audience (obviously, you should not have been on the list for any of them). OFM is announcing a partnership and a change in strategy - one hopes not solely through a release - that might mean real money for that company. And while it's kind of tacky for someone to write the release about his own award, that announcement might help the company find or reassure investors. Or maybe ... hey, Flottman - what a maroon!
Part of providing effective PR advice is telling the client "no" when they insist on these kinds of releases. That they arrived in your inbox is simply a lack of professionalism. Two wrongs still don't make a right.
You should have waited a while before posting this, because you missed a beaut earlier today about Starcom building 300 data points into its new Search Discoverability Framework.
Bob,
When are the brackets coming out for the 2013 World Choir Games? Any line yet on the 2013 Spirit of Cincinnati USA Award? Can McMasters repeat? The suspense is killing me.
Unfortunately, many people in the PR world can't be banned from practicing.