• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, October 30, 2014

Apparently people of the female persuasion are performing far better than men on almost all effective leadership key attributes. So says the annual Ketchum Leadership Communication Monitor, which polled 6,509 people in 13 countries for their views on effective leadership, effective communication, and the link between the two. 

Meanwhile, John Gerzema, author of “The Athena Doctrine,” says people increasingly want their leaders to possess qualities that are usually attributed to women. So when Iceland had its financial collapse, women took over and turned the economy around. Sweden is said to have scrapped a previous government and instituted a “feminist” government. Japan has put $3 billion into a “Womenomics” initiative. Celebrants say all this points up the benefits of having more women in leadership roles.

Since younger women are kicking the crap out of their male counterparts in the classroom and gobbling up more spots at top colleges, the emergence of women operating above the glass ceiling is all but inevitable. Too bad. There are lots of things I will miss when men are no longer masters of the universe. Among them:

Being right all of the time. Even with history littered with plenteous examples of poor play-calling by men, that hasn't stopped us from knowing with great certainty that we are always right. Hey, we didn't get where we are by taking everyone's POV into consideration or building consensus. When it is comes time to make the hard call, we don't let facts get in the way or waste time considering alternatives. Instead, we trust that inner voice that says, "You da Man, bubba..."

Temper tantrums. Nothing spells leadership like periodic invective-laced eruptions just to see the look of pain, terror and disappointment on the faces of our immediate reports. If nothing else, it reestablishes who the alpha dog is at this company, and keeps everyone on their speculative toes wondering if and when we will treat them with angry contempt again. You saw “Patton,”right? Kinda makes up for having your dad yell at you all those years, too.

Company ink. We helped build this company, so in many respects it is our candy store. If we want to have a few gummy bears or jelly beans, that is part of the reward we get for being where the buck stops. Let's face it, power is an aphrodisiac -- and those I choose are not feeling coerced as much as they are flattered, deep-down. I have the wherewithal to make their lives pretty exciting. Yes, indeed, "it's good to be the king."

Perks. If those geeky little Silicon Alley wonks want to have open-space offices and ride bikes to work and "share" free coffee and granola bars with their staff, bless their little socialist hearts. But I need privacy to make the Big Decisions that will determine if the company lives or dies. And I can't waste time in taxi or security lines with the little people. After all, my time is worth about $25 grand an hour. The office, the car, the plane, the clubs, the first-class hotels, the tables at The Four Seasons and Michael's, all help me focus on the Big Issues.

The boys. Nothing affirms my rightful place on the top compensation list as looking around and seeing all of my pals from college and previous companies at the Grove, at the White House, and Augusta. We are like a little fraternity, trading jokes, business leads, stock tips and connections. These guys all look like me, act like me, share my POV on the Big Issues and so help reinforce the notion that I am Right All of the Time. We are a Band of Brothers (although not really, since not one of us ever served a minute in the army). But you know, it makes us feel like the male hierarchical economic warriors we are.