Commentary

Boulder's Latest Marketing Sometingorother: Fortnight Collective

So I get this nice little note from a PR shop earlier today about a new agency being formed called the Fortnight Collective, based in Boulder, Colorado. 

All well and good. 

I mean Boulder. What a seemingly great place. Fresh air, lots of outdoor activities and nearby national forests and parks. From what I read it’s a progressive haven surrounded by idiots who voted for our current president. (Just say'in. It's my column.)

But I digress. Back to the main point. By the time I get to the press release attached to the note from the PR person the new “agency” has morphed into something called a “brand marketing accelerator.” 

I mean I feel like the victim of a bait-and-switch scheme. First I’m being pitched about a new agency. Great. That’s exactly what I cover, the agency beat. 

Then, before I can say “Rocky Mountain High,” they’re shoving this brand marketing accelerator bullsh*t down my throat. 

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I mean WTF? I don’t cover those. And make up your mind. What are you, an agency or a brand marketing whoseamajigger? 

Okay so here’s the main main point. Brand marketing accelerator is buzzword bingo bullsh*t for agency. 

What is it about this industry that so addicts it to Buzzword Bingo Bullsh*t? The answer of course is clients, most of whom are corporate entities that lustfully indulge in BBB (AKA Corporate Speak) at any opportune moment. 

Why? Because it’s a great device for dissembling--that is maneuvering through the shark infested capitalistic waters. 

And actually, I kind of get that. Capitalism drives the economy for Chrissake and it’s a challenging system to thrive in. 

Still my job is to translate BBB into English. 

So, what we have here is a new Boulder-based agency. With real clients! Yeah, a start-up starting out of the gate with some established brands that have real dough to spend on marketing like Nestlé Purina and Vail Resorts, Made In Nature, and others. 

And Fortnight has a unique value proposition. They’re gonna accelerate the sh*t out of your brand marketing efforts and they’re gonna do it in two weeks flat. Hence the name “Fortnight.”  

Okay, I could launch into a diatribe about this seemingly cookie-cutter approach to accelerating brand marketing. I mean aren’t brands different and don’t they need a custom approach, whether it takes two weeks or six months? 

All right, enough. If you want to argue the point with the founder and CEO he’s Andy Nathan, who’s previously toiled for a lot of big league shops including Crispin Porter + Bogusky, TBWA\Chiat\Day NY, BBH New York, and Ogilvy New York and London. If he’s in a meeting or hiking the Mount Sanitas Trail, try Mandy Eckford, Director of Client Services.

 

 

 

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