• by Adam Buckman , Featured Columnist, September 19, 2024

If swaggering, shirtless men trading macho jibes about the girls on the beach is what you’re looking for, then have I got a lifeguard drama for you.

Ogling the women in thong bikinis is one of two things in “Rescue: HI-Surf” that preoccupy the buff beach boys who are members of an elite team of oceanside rescuers working on the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii.

The other is rescuing people, the majority of whom have come to this beach to surf the world’s highest waves. 

That’s part of the double meaning of the show’s title -- the surf is “HI” and the show is located in “HI” -- the postal abbreviation for Hawaii. Clever.

So many people get knocked out cold or otherwise come close to drowning in this activity that it’s a wonder it’s not illegal.

In the premiere episode of “Rescue: HI-Surf” -- a new Fox entry for the fall season premiering Sunday -- the rescue team executes two dramatic rescues.One of them involves a young surfer from Florida who comes all the way to HI to make his first-ever attempt to conquer the big waves. 

Suffice it to say, he fails and the rescue team runs very fast into the ocean to rescue him. Mission accomplished.

The other rescue later in the show involves a teen boy who goes snorkeling with a pal under the high surf to hunt for treasure such as watches and gold jewelry that surfers lose when they wipe out.

This pursuit is apparently as dangerous as surfing and one of the teens gets badly injured, necessitating another rescue run into the foam.

The natures of these two emergencies were essentially the same, and so were the rescues. 

Seen one TV ocean rescue and you’ve seen them all? While watching Episode One of “Rescue: HI Surf,” it seemed so.

In addition to rescues and the down time spent scoping for sexy sirens on the sands, we learn the backstories of some of the personnel.

For example, one of the men and one of the women were once engaged, but not now. Awkward!

In another example, the nephew of the unit’s captain, a rescue team legend named Sonny (Robbie Magasiva), drowned only a month ago. 

Capt. Sonny feels guilty that the boy could not be saved, but it was unclear to me whether or not Sonny was involved in the failed rescue attempt.

With its macho swaggering and boasts about sexual prowess, “Rescue: HI-Surf” adopts the same formula as many TV shows and movies in which the top guns of fire departments, EMS teams and jet pilots all behave in essentially the same way.

And did any of the creators of this show give any thought to the way the men casually regard the women they see as nothing more than sex objects? Isn’t that frowned upon these days?

“Rescue: HI-Surf” premieres Sunday, September 22, at 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox.